Is this rude?

[mommyofgracie]

I have this cousin who is much older than me and she has a 4 and 5 year old. She never talks to me unless she is emailing me about babysitting or asking me if I know anyone who can babysit so she and her husband can go out on friday/saturday nights. Well, my husband works on call a lot so he can never really watch Gracie.  My cousin only wants to have her kids watched at her home so that they can be put to bed (since they stay out until 11pm or so). This means that I would have to take my 2 year old over to a strange house, and make her stay up until after 11pm so that we can watch my cousins kids and put my cousins kids to bed. So I emailed her back and tried to nicely, but firmly (because I'm tired of her always asking me to babysit), explain to her how hard it is to watch her kids all evening and make Gracie stay up way past her bedtime. I just feel like I'm being a biotch for saying no, but Gracie won't sleep in a stranger's home, and I hate making her stay up that late when she is usually in bed by 7:30.

Is it selfish of me to not help my cousin out? I feel awful...

[MSugarKane]

Nov. 6, 2008 at 9:56 AM

Just say, I am SO sorry but I can't do it.  Family members will take advantage of you SO fast~! I see it happening a lot and it amazes me when one says no that within a few minutes another babysitter is found with no problem at all.  Its not your job or responsibility to have to say yes to her.  

[silversha21]

Nov. 6, 2008 at 10:19 AM No not rude. However... a different perspective. They know you are young and in school with a two year old. Perhaps they want to offer you the money? The other possibility is that they might think that b/c you are young you have friends from school especially that might be willing? And if you do, suggest them. I can also refer you to Nannies from the Heart. Tell them there is a $100 sign up fee, but after that it's $15/hr. and they always snd someone great with full background and reference check as well as a fairly extensive interview process.

[Amberly_n1984]

Nov. 6, 2008 at 1:30 PM

Don't feel obligated.  If you can't, then you can't.  Don't feel bad.  You have to take your own child into consideration before someone who just wants to go out.

[lilmamaten]

Nov. 6, 2008 at 1:34 PM

I've been on both sides of the fence, but I would have been going to work instead of just going out. There have been times that I had to call friends or family that I hadnt even talked to in awhile and ask them to babysit. It was really hard to do because you dont want them to think you are just using them and dont ever think of them otherwise. But in my case, I had no choice. I couldnt just stay home and not go out if I didnt find someone. It was about keeping my job. So having said that, I think you did the right thing. She was just looking out for her family's best interests, so she cant get mad at you for doing the same. Im sure there will be times that you are able to watch her children and she will have other oppurtunities to go out. I wouldnt worry about it too much.

[zmom1]

Nov. 6, 2008 at 3:07 PM

No not selfish at all, it's kinda selfish of her to ask that of you.