DH and I have a disagreement- what would YOU do?

[SAHMaLicious]

My daughters stay at a friends house on Tuesdays and Thursday mornings while I work.  (i do pay her a sitter's wage) yesterday she allowed my eldest daughter and her own daughter to play at their other friends house down the road. My daughter has a facination with their snake and went up to the room that they kept it in and took the heat lamp off the cage and set it on the carpet....

burnt the carpet down to the wood.

My reaction is to try to pay for the damages our daughter caused (even though no sure how we can ever afford to replace the carpet)

or at least 1/2.

The husband's reaction was that while our daughter was in the care of our friend, she should have been watching her more closely and that we are not responsible for the damages...

we are currently fghting over the issue as I was raised that you own up to your mistakes and if you brake something, you replace it...

He was not, unfortunately.... aurgh

what would you do in this situation?

I would like to show my DH what everyone else would do, so he gets an idea of how far off this planet he is =) THANKS!

(I SHOULD mention that our eldest is 3 years old...)

[maofemmjacgav]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 10:04 AM

 I say offer to pay half  (it is the right thing to do) .... good luck

[aquagrl7781]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 10:14 AM

Well I would definately pay half, as that is the right thing to do, but I also think the friend that was watching her should have paid closer attention to a 3 yr old. That could have ended a lot worse those lamps get extremely hot, Luckily your little one did not get burned

[anya57]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 10:19 AM

I am wondering why no one was watching a 3 year old.  I am not sure I would pay anything since you were paying someone to watch your daughter and she wasn't where you left her with. 

But if you feel guilty pay for half but not the whole amount because it is not like your 3 year old was in a safe environment if she can get a heat lamp.

[ChevellesMami]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 11:25 AM

ok i understand where your DH is coming from you paid someone to watch your child they should be doing that because if they were she shouldn't have been able to go upstairs unnoticed and get to the lamp and leave it on the floor long enough for it to burn the carpet cuz its not going to burn immediately ( i say this because ive had the experience second i think yes you should probably pay at least half but your sitter should probably pay the other half for the lady since she should have been watching her but then again if they have insurance that should cover it too and no one will have to pay anything

[lucy1970]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 11:51 AM

ok..so i wrote this once and it didnt freakin post!!!

Wow..thats really scary. She could have been seriously hurt or burnt the whole house down!! I would be REALLY mad at the person who was supposed to be watching her. No you shouldnt have to keep your eye on a 3 yr old every second..but if theres a heat lamp (or anything dangerous like that) anywhere they can get to then steps should be taken to keep them safe. You pay this person to keep your daughter safe...thats what they should do. On the other hand I do agree with your idea that its your child therefore its your responsibilty. I say pay for the damages...all if you have to..and then seriously rethink your child care choices. For me thats the bigger issue here. Carpet can be replaced...a child can not!!!

[KrystalD]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 4:46 PM

So I hate saying this since I do know the person who watches them but I would fire her.  I know accidents happen but if I am paying someone to watch my child I would not like them playing at someone elses home that I dont know.  You dont know if it is babyproof or not.  Like others have said it takes awhile to burn like that so I wonder how long it was like that.  I would pay half and find a new sitter.  Something bad could have happened and you are trusting her with a little baby too!  Your hubbys going to be my friend now lol

[SAHMaLicious]

Nov. 7, 2008 at 7:14 PM

lol well brenna was at a ladies house that we do know and she watched the girls last week while the sitter was on vacation, bryleigh totally loves her =) and that is what she scolded brenna for- the fact that she coulve burndt herself instead of worrying over the carpet she hasnt asked for payment but i'd like to help out somehow...

(Original Poster)