Some Not-So-Great News Today

[CookingEvie]

Saturday, November 08, 2008

As usual, I went to get my Lovenox shot this morning at the hospital. Yesterday, they ran a blood test because they want to monitor my "clotting time". I need to be in the 2 - 3 minute range but I'm still at 1.59 minutes (which means I'm clotting too fast and my blood is still too thick). This is really frustrating because I've basically had to put a lot of my regular activities on hold just to drive to the hospital everyday to get a shot, take medication all day and then give myself a shot at night. And what's worse is that it doesn't seem to be working at all!!! I'm so discouraged with the treatment. The even worse part is that my Dr said that depending on my test results on Monday, I may need to be hospitalized AGAIN for another week!!! That means another week of being in bed, another week away from my kids and another week of feeling alone...

The kicker: I come home, pretty devastated about the news and proceed to tell my husband about this. His reaction: "What's another week in the hospital; you'll get to rest. You'll be fine." That was like a kick in the gut to me. I've told him time and time again that I'm scared about this disease and I've been having a hard time dealing with it but all he says is "it's gonna be ok." He forgets that my mother had a blood clot that traveled to her brain and caused the stroke that killed her. She was 42. I know deep down he's worried too and he's just trying to be strong for me ( I hope), but the lack of worry or emotion on his part makes me feel like I'm battling all of this alone.

Funny thing - he's spent the past 3 days playing non-stop video games and I haven't complained once about it. Tonight I ask him to watch the Divinci Code with me on tv and he says ok but doesn't come in until an hour into the movie. Then gets mad at me for not wanting to kiss him. "Show me some emotional support dammit. Show me that you care what happens to me. Spend some time with me before I may go back to the hospital."

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm whining but I feel really alone and I really need some support.

[SophieandGaven]

Nov. 10, 2008 at 9:01 AM

YOu are not whining at all.  I know how much that must hurt.  I recently had the threat of bloodclots (I'm 8 months pregnant right now), couldn't even move my legs and they were HUGE (not nearly as bad as what you're going thorugh though)...but my husband didn't show a lot of emotional support either (damned video games).  I think that a lot of guys have a hard time finding words and actions when they get upset, my best friend of 13 years is a guy and he was telling me that he gets like that too.

I'm really sorry that you're going through all this! I hope that the treatments start kicking in and working very soon so that you won't have to be away from your family anymore.  MUCH LOVE to you and you're family!