AWNAA

[TTMTC]

WASHINGTON, D.C. --

    Congress is considering sweeping legislation that
    will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No
    Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by
    advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
    ambition.
   
    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
    necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,'
    said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow
    People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
    legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to
    a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."
   
    In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi
    and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S.
    Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
    opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
    postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single
    largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability. 
          
    Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination
    against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%)
    and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state level, the
    Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring
    Persons of Inability (63%).
   
    Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle
    man' positions will be created, with important sounding titles but
    little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
    and performance.
   
    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so
    as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable
    employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to
    corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability
    into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
    medium sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every
    two talented hires. 
    
   Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
    to discriminate against the Non-Abled, banning, for example,
    discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or
    experience that relate to this job?" 
    
       "As a Non-Abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
    have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
    position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to
    her inability to remember 'righty tighty, lefty loosey. "'This new law
    should be real good for people like me," Gertz added. With the passage
    of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will
    finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. 
       
    Said Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL): "As a senator with no abilities, I believe
    the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to
    every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide
    each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy,
    with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

[mitch576]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 11:29 AM

rofl! lol

[itsazoohere]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 1:18 PM

"At the state level, the
    Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring
    Persons of Inability (63%)."

I am proud to say that here in NC I think it is more like 93%

LOL

[StephIN]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 1:41 PM

ROFLMAO

[KristiS11384]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 1:43 PM

Okay you got me when I first read this I was shaking my head in disbelief because I thought it wa true and not just a joke. That should tell you something. LOL

[nandsmommy]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 7:39 PM

[Imogen13]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 8:06 PM

Thanks for the laugh!

[mogencreative]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 9:15 PM ditto to kristis11384

[thethings]

Nov. 11, 2008 at 9:18 PM

LOL!!! I think the DMV here in GA is about 100%.

[Della529]

Nov. 12, 2008 at 9:59 AM Okay you got me when I first read this I was shaking my head in disbelief because I thought it wa true and not just a joke. That should tell you something. LOL KristiS11384 DITTO TO KRISTI, BUT IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IN THE LEAST BIT!