How Can He Really Want Me?

[WifeSpice.Admin]

In a study conducted by the University of Colorado at Boulder, 40% of women and 10% of men would trade 3 to 5 years of their lives to achieve their weight goals. The average girl started dieting at 14 years old in 1970. It was 8 years old by 1990.   After 5 children (twins through c-section), my body is a sight to behold in the light! I don't qualify for centerfold in any magazine.  I struggle occasionally with how attractive I may really look to my husband.  And diet isn't in my vocabulary.

My husband tells me how much he loves certain things about my body. I grin and nod, sometimes I relent with a disingenuous 'thank you.'  I know in my heart he loves me and desires me. However, I, too, can be a little self-conscious about how I look. To be sure, my perceptions of what I should be are rooted in nothing more substantial than a lifetime of images that imitate normalcy and a hunger for eternal youth. A lifetime of perky breasts and washboard abs ARE NOT NORMAL! Sorry for raising my voice... I'm talking to myself mostly.

In the same university study, 30% of women chose an ideal body shape that is 20% underweight and an additional 44% chose an ideal body shape that is 10% underweight. The average U.S. woman is 5’4" and weighs 140 pounds whereas the average U.S. model is 5’11" and weighs 117 pounds.

I am sure that my husband sees me differently than a stranger off the street would. He's invested a lot in me and I in him. I am the mother of his children. I know his darkest fears and greatest dreams. I know him in ways his own mother doesn't. AND HE KNOWS ME LIKEWISE! I think he sees me through eyes of love and affection. He is turned on by ME...and I am not just my body. I am attitude, outlook, faith and practice. He loves all of ME.  I must love all of ME and the standard for ME should be health and well-being on all levels.

I would like to believe your husbands see you similarly...sagging boobs, cottage cheese thighs and all!  I hope that health and overall well-being is your priority.  As I grow older, I do grow more comfortable with who I am, if not absolutely then mostly.

After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...right?

Angela
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[mizkaye]

Nov. 14, 2008 at 10:28 AM

Wonderful post!  I, too, struggle with the way my body has 'betrayed' me over the years.  Before children, I was the size of a supermodel...LOL!  I am 6ft tall and when I was 18 I weighed about 120lbs and had these fabulously large breasts that sat proudly up on my chest.  Now...at 32 with 10yrs of marriage and 3 kids behind me...I am still 6ft tall, but I am 215lbs (GAH!  Almost 100lbs heavier!!) and my breasts...?...well, I'd rather not talk about them.  When I look in the mirror and start to talk about boob jobs and tummy tucks my husband says 'Whatever...I think you're hot...come over here so I can feel you up!'  And when we are intimate, he makes me feel like the most beautiful supermodel ever...still...there's that lingering thought in my mind...'Geez, Kaye...you really need to lose some weight'.  So, here's to all of us as we struggle to see ourselves through our lover's eyes! 

[madamekatekate]

Nov. 14, 2008 at 12:29 PM

I loved reading this post!

A year after the birth of my daughter my breasts look so....deflated. And I mean bad. I can hardly stand to see myself without a bra on. I can't help but think "It's only going to get worse from here!"