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Still Waiting - Are they trying to kill me?
- Nov 15, 2008 at 2:02 AM
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- Comments (5) Total Views (188) Everyone can see this journal post.
The 14th was supposed to be the matching meeting for the little angel girl that we want to adopt. One of the family's social worker didn't present them today though, so now we have to wait until that family is presented. We received an email saying that we are still "very much" being considered. Our worker said that they sound very interested. Our worker was excited because of all the positive.
I am heartbroken. I thought today was the day that I would know. I thought that I would either hear "no we chose another family" or "yes you can be her family". I thought I would either cry my eyes out or start buying all her Christmas gifts. I wanted to either begin to bandage my heart from the loss or announce to my kids that they have a little sister. Instead I just cried because I still don't know. I cried because I am so tired of waiting for the system to get on with my adoptions sometimes. I am frustrated because a little girl waits tonight with still no family chosen when I want to bring her home and love her. I cry because their are thousands of children waiting in our country and millions of children around the world who have no one to love them tonight.
I am glad that we still have hope. I just don't want false hope. I want to love her forever. I did decide to go ahead and buy the Lee Middleton doll for her that I want her to have. If nothing else, then maybe they'll at least let me send it when all is said and done. I just have to have faith. Faith that God has brought us this far for a reason. Faith that this love in my heart isn't in vain. Who knows if they'll say yes or no for sure, but I know that God is in control. I know He put her in my heart for a reason and so I just have to keep praying for her and loving her.
The doll will be here in about 2 or 3 weeks. I know at that point that I am either going to be so excited that her doll is here and ready for Christmas or heartbroken. I had to know that if she is our little girl then she would get a Middleton doll that looks like her, just like our new little girls did last year. I wish God would send me an email to fill me in on what is going on in my life. His word promises that "all things work together for good", its just that sometimes from my earthly view I just can't see what I'd like to see. From up there things must look so simple. I must look like one of my children when they are trying to do something on their own, but have no clue. God must look down on me, shake His head, and say "will she ever learn to leave it in My hands and not worry". I'm such a silly and stubborn child of His.
I would appreciate the continued prayers of all of you. Please pray that the little angel will be loved wherever she is placed. Please pray that my heart will heal if it isn't here that she is meant to be. Please pray that this weekend ends and news comes. Thank you all!
Comments:
I am praying for the situation.
praying for you and your family!
Your gonna make it! Your doing great! Hang in there! I am believing for good news!
Thanks ladies. I feel better today than yesterday. I keep trying to remember that at least I'm one day closer. I bought her a stuffed animal when I bought them for the others today. I'm going to be a big dope with a stash for her one way or the other. roflol
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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't understand why the system advertises all the time the need for adoptive homes for children. In the past I had dealt with foster care in my state. I went to 2 meetings and walked away in tears. I called and specifically asked if they had children needing to be adopted from infant to 5 years old I was told yes over the phone. However, I was told there were no children to adopt infant to 5 years when I attended the meeting. I honestly do not believe for a second there are no children available for adoption. I went on to adopt privately and thank God was blessed with a son!! I would love nothing more then to adopt a child/children again. You would think the best answer to my many prayers would simply be to go to foster care and love one of those little angels, however I was so heartbroken over the negative attitude of the social workers I really don't know if I could go back. I found them to be so unemotional. It is sad because there are so many couples waiting to be blessed and wanting to love a child as their very own, meanwhile the process of adoption is so complicated and the children are the ones who sit in foster care for years. Hopefully soon you will get your precious little angel to love....my prayers are with you.
- Kellyjude1
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