Sharing

[honeybea3]

I've learned some things this week.  I'm hoping to help some of you other moms by sharing the experience. 

My week last week began as normal.  Running, running, running.  Not much of it for us.  I had about three weeks worth of dishes piling the counters.  Mountains, and I do mean mountains, of laundry piling the chairs, beds, and floors.   Toys scattered throughout.  The dining room table covered by abandoned craft projects and unfinished bills and paperwork.   A disaster.  That's what we woke up to every morning. 

And every morning I would begin my day determined it would be different.  I would get all this done.  If it meant spending the next 24 hours non-stop on my feet just working at it, I would get it done.  Somehow.

And every morning about a quarter of the way into the dishes the phone would ring.  It would be someone needing something.  "Can you come take me to get food from a food closet or donation facility?,  Can you take me to the train station?, Can you take me to fill out job applications?, Can you come and help me with this or that?"  

Being able to say no should be easy when you are as far behind in your personal needs as we are.  But it wasn't.  I had a guilt complex for some reason.  I'm still not sure why.   I just didn't feel like telling someone in need that my dishes and laundry and housework was more important than what they needed .   I also felt like if I said no I had to explain to them why.   A simple no was not sufficient in my opinion.  

I truly had things out of perspective.  It was easier for me to look at someone else and fix that problem.  But, here I had a big problem and had  no idea how to fix it.   So, I took it to God.  I had my church family pray over me and then two other people that God put in my path to pray over specifics regarding the situation. 

The next day began.  I felt refreshed and was full of ideas on how to make a life change.  It looked like the prayers were being answered already! 

I got up, got my husbands hair cut, got hubby and baby some breakfast, did devotions and started on the dishes. 

And there it went.  That blasted phone!  It rang and judging from the number it's going to be a request for transport somewhere.   I will not be distracted.  I'm not budging from my new determination to reach this new goal.  I ignore the phone and keep doing the dishes. 

There it goes again.  The phone is ringing!  Same number and it's only been about ten minutes from their first call.  Something must be wrong, I have to answer it.  What if they need something important?  What if someone is hurt or worse?  I answer the call.   Sigh.  Alas, it's nothing more than the expected.  "Could you take me....?"   Ugh, here we go again.  I told them I might be going out later and I'll call them back. 

I hung up the phone and screamed!  I mean really screamed!  I'm so sick of it all.  I'm so sick of trying to do everything for everybody and never getting anything done in my own home!  Doesn't God care about what I'm suppose to be doing here?  How do I be a Christian and help those in need when my home is a wreck, my dishes haven't been done in weeks and we have no dishes to eat out of until we wash some?   My husband is constantly wondering where his clothes are because there are never any in his drawers.  

I was disparaged and discouraged.  What do I do?  I'm on a verge of a panic attack so I begin to pray.  A name pops in my head.  The girl who prayed with me after service for specifics in helping me get my home life back in order.   I give her a call and boy does the Lord know how to work things out.   I ask her for advice and she tells me a trick she does.  She places an outgoing message on her phone referring anyone with an emergency to call an alternate number(her hubby's cell phone).  Those who don't have emergencies are welcome to leave a message but she won't be available until such in such a date. 

Brilliant!  What a smart thing to do.  She also offers to take the people to do their running around and then brings me lunch and helps me with laundry!  What a blessing! 

I call our pastor to see if he will allow me to use the church's phone number for my "alternate emergency number" and he puts things into perspective even more.  Being a pastor is a demanding and constant job.  He explained that when people call and they are needing things that he isn't able to do for them, he tells them the truth.  He has appointments.    I told him I understood that and with him being a pastor he could tell them that because his schedule is usually full of important appointments.  He then told me that while he was talking to me he was in his appointment with Dawn.  I was confused for a moment.  He then explained that if I would view my household tasks as appointments that needed to be met with, then it would be easier to tell people the truth that my day was booked. 

With these two new ideas to put into action I set out and changed my outgoing voicemail message and I'm prepared if someone does corner me wanting me to take them somewhere, my schedule book is full for the next 4 weeks! 

I feel like I've got a new lease on life!  I can actually say no to people now and not feel guilty!  My housework is important.  And it is what God wants me to do.  If my husband and child and my home life isn't happy then I'm not going to be able to help anyone else.  I've been told this before but no one ever gave me solutions or ways I could say no.  I couldn't seem to think of any on my own! 

So, I hope this journal post will help other moms who are givers and givers and can't seem to say no when people are in "need".   maybe you don't know how to say it.  I hope this has given you some ideas that you can put to use like I did. 

Love to all and may you be blessed abundantly!