Boy when life gets tough, I become a wreck...

[lifelessons78]

Well, I am sitting here typing this when I know I should be doing amillion other things. i have just been so tired lately. My life just seems to be headed in a not so good direction. I am trying real hard to keep from going crazy. I recently had to quit my job due to my husband's health and I really have no idea what I am going to do. His family is usually really good at helping us but I was starting to feel good about myself. My husband has end stage renal failure and attends dialysis 3 times a week. He is not in very good shape. well he gets medicare because of his disability and he gets state medical insurance also because of our income level. Which he needs. Dialysis alone costs about 10000 dollars a month. That doesnt include medication or anything else he needs. Well when I started working they said I made to much. I was making 8.10 an hour working full time raising 4 children..So they took his state medical insurance away. So we were having to pay out of pocket for prescriptions. Well some of them. Which just one was almost 200 dollars. we dont have that kinda money even with me working. He gets enough for us to get by on disability but there is little room for extras. I am so disgusted that I had to quit. Why does the state cater to adults who sit at home and mulitply but crap on the ones who are actually trying to make it in this world? Im sick when I think about what Christmas is gonna be like. I have no idea what to do where to turn.. I live in fear everyday that today will be the last day I spend with my best friend. Its so scary to me. I just want to be able to provide for my children and take care of my hubby at the same time. Is that to much to ask?...Ok i am done ranting now..Ugh life...Can I please catch a break?