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Hi, my name's Debbie, and I'm an Alcoholic
- Nov 19, 2008 at 11:03 AM
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- Comments (14) Total Views (255) Everyone can see this journal post.
So, as you can guess from the Title, I'm a recovering Alcoholic. I've had soooo much happen lately concerning convictions in this area, that I just really wanted to share some of this, in hopes it might encourage someone else, as well as to ask for prayers.
Let me start off with some background info. I was actually saved about 5 years ago. However, I ended up turning my back on God for a few years over a guy I stupidly entrusted my heart to ( that's a whole different story though). Anyways, during this time frame I started Bartending. I quickly went from being a social drinker (someone who COULD drink just one or two during the night - which is still wrong), to being a binge drinker, unbeknownst to some of my friends and family. Last January I got so trashed that I blacked out before I tried to drive home. I nearly killed myself, and almost put my son into the Foster Care system. At first I was really shook up about this, and quit drinking (for a few days at least). Than I reasoned that I would only drink when I was at home, where I could walk home instead of drive. But, like any true alcoholic, I went right back to drinking during or after work, and than driving home.
I eventually went to court, and had my license taken away. I eventually had to take the Drinking Driving Program class to get a conditional license. I eventually got another car, and I eventually ended up in counseling. All of this being in about a 6 month period.
Thankfully one of my ex-boyfriends had recently been saved, and led me back to Jesus during this 6 month time frame. At this point of my life, I definitely had ALOT MORE to be thankful for, and repentant for. I truly believe that what the Devil had meant to be my demise, God used to make me stronger and for his good. I grew (and continue to grow) in his mercy and grace. I spent ALOT of time in prayer (and some fasting) over my situation, specifically as to whether or not to stay where I was to try and witness or to leave due to my weakness with alcohol. This was very difficult for me, because I made really good money there, I liked all my coworkers, and this was the longest I had ever kept a job. But, I still knew that money was NOT what was supposed to be important to me, and even though I liked all of my coworkers, I was partaking in their sins of fowl language and constant backbiting.
Eventually God answered my prayers and told me that I had to leave. I was working in the House of Sin. Especially when I came across an article that made reference to Habakkuk 2:15 "Woe unto him that giveth his neighbor drink...." which was exactly what I was doing being a Bartender. So, I told my boss that I was going to start looking for another job, and as soon as I found one I would give him my "official" two weeks notice, so that he might start looking for help to train. However.......
A week later, I was sitting in church listening to a very powerful missionary speaker. He spoke of Phillip in Acts 8:26-40 being spoke to by the Angel, telling him to go south unto the way that goeth down form Jerusalem unto Gaza which is dessert. Before he continued he pointed out that Phillip did not argue about the fact that this was nearly a 50+ mile trek, or that it was during the hottest part of the year, or that he didn't have any provisions. He merely obeyed and went immediately! And this missionary spoke of how ALOT of us tend to argue or try and do things our own way, even when God is touching our hearts and telling us to do something. I can not begin to describe to you how much it was pressed upon me within my soul that that was exactly what I had been doing, and that I HAD to quit THAT DAY! Not when I was comfortable doing so etc. That I was to step out in faith that He would provide for me. I cried sooooo hard during the closing prayer that morning. My whole body was shaking in fear of how to tell my boss. Trying to remind myself that we're specifically told to not worry about pleasing man, but God.
Sooooooo...... this was last Sunday. I literally quit my job without having another one lined up, a month before Christmas, and only enough money to get by for another month or so. I've fully put my faith and trust into God that he will open another door of opportunity for me, where I won't be sinning or causing others to sin. So for my fellow believers, I'm asking for your prayers, that God will show me where to go, and open those doors of opportunity, as well as for strength and endurance while I wait. And if you're having or had a problem with alcohol - I understand and would love to help encourage you.
To those of you who aren't saved and are reading this, I don't expect you to understand, and I politely ask that if you can't say something nice, don't bother commenting.
"The saloon is worse than war or pestilence. It is the crime of crimes. It is the parent of crimes, and the mother of sins. It is the appalling source of misery and crime in the land." Billy Sunday
I've included two links regarding this topic . The first one is about alcohol, and the second one is about wine into water.
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Alcohol%20Kills/gadd.htm
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Alcohol%20Kills/jesus_and_wine.htm
I've also included a couple videos about Christians and drinking.
Comments:
Let me be the 2nd one to thank you for your uplifting journal!! I too am a recovering alcoholic and the women of the group we both belong to know my story pretty well. I won't get into it here b/c this is your time. I see that you went to any length to stay sober. Congrats!!
10 BIG POINTS GIRL. I AM REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR TELLING THE WHOLE STORY. AND IF YOU LOOK AT IT YOU WILL SEE JUST FROM THE WORDS THAT YOU HAVE GROWN. MY SWEET FRIEND I WANT TO TELL YOU AND EVERY ONE ELSE HERE THAT I AM BLESSED TO KNOW YOU AND WATCH YOU COME BACK TO CHRIST WITH FULL FORCE. I HAVE WAITED A LONG TIME AND IT IS A BLESSING TO ME DAILY. TO HAVE A GODLY FRIEND TO SPEAK TO AND TO SHARE WITH AND TO LEARN WITH AND FROM. ALL OF THIS MAKES MY CUP OVERFLOW.
Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase so shall thy barns be filled with plenty….
Proverbs 3:9-10 KJV
"A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world's torrent."
Goethe
"God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way."
C. S. Lewis
"Often God shuts a door in our face so that he can open the door through which he wants us to go."
Catherine Marshall
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
E. H. Chapin
When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.
E. Stanley Jones
I know personally the war you are fighting. You are definitely in my prayers!
I thank you, too, and be encouraged; You have heard from God and when you're able to hear Him like you've heard Him - in that very still, small voice and when being obedient to that voice will really cost you something - and you obey it, then you can expect the same from God. Meaning, He desires that we listen in order to obey and not just to hear Him speaking. Listening attentively; attending to His Word/voice. Doing so will bring the result of Him doing the same for us. It's His promise:
14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. 1 John 5:14-17
Our obedience to His Word puts us in His will and as we walk in His Will (His Word), then He listens for us and attends to us, hearing us in order to grant us what we ask . So, I guess what I'm saying is that your obedience has positioned you to receive what you need from Him in order to be sustained and maintained in your decision.
Be blessed.
Although I have never had a problem with alcohol, I do have a problem with being obedient to God. I think that is more of the message than the addiction itself. We all have our own selfish things that get in the way of obeying God ---- mostly ourselves. I will keep you in my prayers and I have no doubt that you will touch many lives and God will get the glory.
congrats on getting sober. It's not an easy thing to do by any stretch of the imagination! And I speak from experience. I just celebrated 16 years clean and sober. On Christmas eve, I will celebrate 3 years of being saved. Isn't it wonderful???
Now, I don't know if you are attending AA or not, but I want to tell you about celebrate recovery. It's a Christ centered 12 step program and it rocks! Rick Warren at Saddleback in So. California started the program and it's awesome. I hope you can find one where you are!
You're in my prayers.
Hi Deb!
First let me say how very proud I am of you!!! It took incredible strength to do what you did with your job and acknowledging you had a problem. You are my hero. So many people sweep their problems under the rug, and you have come out and told us yours and it brings ours to mind. Jesus loves us when we are weak or strong, employed or unemployed, fat or skinny, bad hair day or an awesome hair day....I am sooooo proud of you to look into your soul and realize this was not honoring to the Lord. Please allow me to pray for you....
Dear Heavenly Father,
You know the terror I have lived in my life from the drinking of others. Thank you Lord for bringing me through....but Lord I am lifting Deb up to you today....allow me to intercede...to stand in the gap...to beg of you to see to her needs Lord. You said you would never leave or forsake us...You said you would be beside us always,You said you loved us unconditionally...even when we are unlovable....Lord we are standing on these promises right now...I pray Lord you step into Deb's life right now and love on her...protect her Lord Jesus from anything and anyone that would do her harm. Show her Lord what you would have her be doing...how you would have her to proceed...take her by the hand Lord and make the path you have chosen for her straight and smooth...Lord we get so caught up in life that we forget we are supposed to be living for you....letting you live through us...instead our flesh gets in the way and we start living like the world instead of in the world. We know Lord right from wrong...but how does it turn gray instead of black and white? Well, today Lord I pray a strength for Deb that will blow her away. I pray an anointing on her that will protect, cover her sins, lead her in your path, and heal her wounds. Lord, we know you can do ANYTHING..that NOTHING is too hard for you..nothing is too small or to large...Lord I pray you search Deb's heart...if there is changing that needs done there that you would like done I pray you put it in her spirit...speak to her Lord...loud and clear...may she only hear your voice and not the voice of the enemy. I pray Lord that you see to the provisions that she needs to maintain life and proceed up the ladder of addiction. Bring her out and keep her close to you Lord Jesus...she is such a wonderful woman, she loves you so much Lord Jesus, she knows and believes your Word....wrap your loving arms around her Jesus...keep her warm, protected, encouraged, loved, and engaged in a ministry that would bring glory and honor to you. I pray Lord that you use me....bring Deb to me....let me help her...give me the words to say....give me the heart of you...make us all more like you Jesus...we pray for your coming...we pray you will come soon and take us home. Help us to live in this world but not of this world Jesus...bring us to you when we are weak....for you will make us strong...thank you Lord Jesus for dying on the cross for US....we are not worthy...but you have made us clean...thank you Lord Jesus....you gave you life so we may live..we owe you everything....be with us...make your whisper of a voice the only voice we hear....keep our hearts pliable to your will and not our own fleshly selfish will....bring us home...come and get us...I beg of you...Please God...send your son to collect what is his...use us to find that last soul that needs saved...hold our rewards tight...hold our loved ones tight...until we hear the most precious words ever, " Well done good and faithful servant!" I live for this...Deb lives for this...bring us to the gate...find us worthy...oh to honor and praise you everyday...singing songs of praise..doing the work you would have us do...seeing ones that have had the honor of going before us....glory to you...honor and praise to you....blessings to you Lord Jesus for all you have done....
In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen!!!
Wow..sorry this is so long..I went back and tried to cut it down but couldn't. This is what the Lord has fed into my spirit...I love you Deb...we are sisters and warriors IN the Lord...allow me to stand along side you and encourage you anytime. I find it a privilege to be your friend and sister....Suzie
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