Why this Thanksgiving is special.

[Intrepid]

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. It's the one holiday every year that triggers me to pause and really evaluate my life. It's the one holiday that's not tied to excessive commercialism and expensive gift giving. It's the only holiday that's all about gathering those I care most about close to me so that we may feast together, laugh together, reminisce and just enjoy each other's company.

My father was always a big part of Thanksgiving, and his stories of his childhood antics would keep all of us in stitches as we gulped down food between laughs. I  miss him so. I suppose it's rather apropo that he died just a couple days before Thanksgiving just two years ago. It was his holiday. It was his moment to step into the spotlight and entertain us all. Since he died I simply haven't wanted to celebrate this holiday because it served only to remind me of the loss I've felt in his absence, but this year is different.

This year I'm surrounded by struggle and despair. My husband and I are feeling the pinch of this failing economy, but so far we are fortunate enough to be coming through it without fear of losing our home, and while we may not be able to eat quite as lavishly or healthfully as in years past, there is always food in the kitchen and our bellies are always full. We have friends and family who are not fairing so well. We help where and when we can, even if it's just toys and clothing for their children, or a free meal over at our house, but I'm always aware that we're limited in how much we can give without going under ouselves. So this year I'm extremely grateful for everything we have, and everything we can spare.

I'm grateful to be surrounded by the love of my small family. I'm grateful for the support we give to each other and for the security we still enjoy. I'm grateful that the loved ones we have helped out understand that our help came without condition or judgement or expectation of repayment, and that we know how close we are to being in the same boat they are. I'm grateful every time we have a little to spare. And I'm grateful that we feel no need to have more stuff, but only a need to keep one another safe and warm. And I'm grateful for my father, who will dine with us in spirit this year even though he cannot be with us in person. His stories and laughter will echo in my mind as I prepare our feast and dine with those I love.