I dont want to be your Cheerleader any more, But I will

[shots1971]

Friday I got a phone call from Brandon's school. it went like this: "Sonja Brandon is acting out again refusing to do his math and yelling about how his grandmother is in prison (please dont ask me about that one I wont talk about it) His uncle stole his social secerty number (another subject I'm not ready to talk about on here) and how his life is not fair"  "Ok I will come get him thanks for calling Tanja"

I get to his class room and he is just siting there at a table with his coat on looking pissed off.  I say to him "Brandon all the things that you have been ranting about today has nothing to do with you and I for one am not happy that your talking about family stuff that is none of any ones business here at the school, Get up and lets walk out of here now"  Brandon says much to my displeasure "I'm not leaving until I get my lunch"  I say "Nope Brandon we are leaving now, you should of thought about that before you started acting up"  He then proceeds to get up and start heading for the X-box we gave the school last year and starts taking it apart to take home. I try to stop him and he threatens to hurt me and then when the teacher trys to stop him he threatens to kill them all and his self.  So we as a group decided to call the police.  I have seen this act many a times from Brandon its one of his favorite things to do, get the adults all worked up to the point were we have to place him some were and he does not have to deal with the after math of his behaviors here at home. ( like being grounded or toys taken away from him or extra chores things like that)

So the cops take him to the hospital while I follow them once there Brandon puts on another show of disrespecting the nurses when they try to ask him questions (calling them bitches and things like that) I just sit back and watch what can I do he has his mind made up that he wants to be away from his family. I just keep saying sorry to the nurses for what he is saying. They place him the child physic unit. I leave because I know I have to show Brandon that this is not hurting me or his father I cant baby him because it shows to him that he has won.

Ted and I went back to the hospital Saturday night to talk with Brandon's doc and the doc says "Brandon is doing the same thing he always does and we just have to keep working with him to show him that we will not break and that behaviors like he is showing will not get him a free pass" I think that its time to put him in another placement but as you know there is a waiting list for any placement we put him in so we can try some other meds out there to keep him from losing control if you want while we wait"  I say nope I dont want him drugged up but I will let you increase his ADHD med as we have been at 18 mg for a year may be its time to jump that up" The doc went on to say that he thinks that every time Brandon acts out we need to bring him back to the hospital and he will make sure that Brandon is placed in the quite room fro two days with nothing to do that way Brandon is not using the hospital as a way to get out of Owens up to his behaviors in another words Brandon wont be able to us this as a excuse to get away with murder so to speak.

I have not talked or seen Brandon since Friday and he will be coming home Monday  from there I really dont know what we will do with him, I guess it will be a wait and see thing with him.  ODD and this conduct disorder is Draining me and the rest of the family.  Brandon seems to not care what he is doing to every one else he just cares about what he wants. I'm tired of being his cheerleader reminding him when things are going good how proud his dad and I are of him and how I look so forward to him going to a normal School and getting on the wrestling team once he gets to that school.   Cause in the end Brandon always blows it and the dreams of him having that normal life go out the window. Since 2004 I have walked through hell for Brandon I have researched this ODD and Cd I have worked with some of the best doc and therapiest my state has to offer, I have fought with Ted ( my husband to have passions that some day we will see our boy break through this) I have been through tears of placements of having to say good bye to him for a year and so on. I have been to court over him when he hurt a teacher I have ran after him when he runs away from home and I have shed so many tears that by now I could of had my own ocean. I have watched Jessica do with out things because we have to deal with Brandon.  I watched my husband busted his ass doing over time so that we can pay the hospital bills Brandon has racked up and if his not working over time to pay off a bill he is working over time to just make up for the money we dont have because I stay at home to deal with Brandon. 

But like any mother I guess no matter what he is my son and I have to keep being his cheerleader and fight for him.  I just hope that some day things will get better for him and the rest of our family.

 

[MmaMaMa1203]

Nov. 23, 2008 at 7:10 PM

 Hang in there! I can't imagine what you are going through, but I can see the emotion in your writing. Remember you are a great mom for dealing with it, and as long as you're dealing with it, then you are doing everything in your power to make things good for your family!

[beanielips]

Nov. 23, 2008 at 7:12 PM

you are a great mom and so strong!

[pnwmom]

Nov. 23, 2008 at 7:38 PM

Oh sweetie I am so sorry you are going through this.  You are a wonderful mom and you are doing the best you can.  Keep working with everyone and take time for yourself when you can.  Hugs to you

[MSugarKane]

Nov. 23, 2008 at 7:55 PM

A friend of mine has a child much like you described. He is turning 21 now.  Finally , f i n a l l y , after years and years of giving his father hell ........he is a half way decent adult now.  His dad was a single father of three.  He would have to leave parties, picnics , to go home and deal with his son. He never gave up and just know there is light at the end of the tunnel your in right now. Love, guidance, and standing firm are the biggest keys to getting him grown into a decent person. good luck !!! 

[yrulokin4me]

Nov. 24, 2008 at 1:16 AM

oh mama!! ((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))

[3earthangels]

Dec. 6, 2008 at 11:17 PM

I'm a little late to this one. Keep it up! I pray for you guys everynight and you truly are a inspiration for Luis and I with Juan. He will get closer to whatever normal is supposed to be. ODD sucks to say the least, but from my research a good bit of the children "get over it" at some point in their lives. Stand firm and strong! Take care!!

[mamatware]

Dec. 8, 2008 at 2:43 PM

When I was teaching I saw kids like Brandon all the time.  I know it's hard, but I think you are doing the right thing.  I have seen so many parents make excuses, and let their kids get away with so much because "he has______" and that is not how things work in the real world.