My mom is dying and I'm Feeling ALONE & AFRAID

[-Mila-]

This is my mom..Not even a year ago my mother went through kidney failure.   They finally got her kidneys up to 60%.  We thought that my mother was finally gonna be fine, but thats not the case.  About a month ago my mother strained her side and tried nursing it for a couple days.  The pain just kept coming and going.  Her doctor told her to come in for a X-ray.  In the x-ray they found a lung mass.  She went through a series of test and come to find out  that my mother not only has lung cancer she also has turberculosis.  That was a shocker for us to hear.  Next thing we knew her lung collasped and she started showing signs of liver  failure.   We didn't know what to expect.  They wouldn't be able to do anything for my mother because of her turberculosis.  Then they placed her on 9 different medications for her TB.  Then around the 13th of Nov. my mother started experiencing really bad headaches.  She was unable to take any meds for it cause it would conflict with her TB medication.  Her headache would change positions on a daily basis.  On the 5th day my mother couldn't stand the headaches anymore.  Her doctor was contacted.

My mother was admitted into the hospital on Nov. 18th.  A CTscan and MRI was done.  They found 5 tumors in my mom's brain.  1 above her left temple, 2 on the right temple an inch apart, and 2 tumors in the back of her brain that will affect her motor skills.

I guess bad news does come in 3s.  My mother was given 2 months to live.  Her biopsy is tomorrow morning.  If her biopsy shows that her tumors are TB then she has a chance, but if the tumors are cancerous then there is nothing they can do for her.  This is just to much so fast.

I had to pull my young ones out of school in Illinois to come home here to Ohio to be with my mother and spend as much time with her for how ever long I have her in my life.  I tried to contact some churches to get some donations for me and my children.   I don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm loosing it.  My mother might be coming home this thursday to live out the remainder of her life here at home.  Which means that me and my children cannot be here due to my mother's turberculosis.  I don't want to have to drive back home to Illinois just to get the phone call that she's worse or she passed.  This is so difficult and I don't know what to do..My mom wants me here, but she can't help me stay.  I've never asked for help before and I don't know if I know where to start.   It would break my mother's heart so bad if I were to have to go home to Illinois.  I'm just a stay at home mother on disability with a jerk of a boyfriend her is my representative and he will not help me, cause all he's thinkning about is hisself.   I'm all alone here and I feel like I'm loosing it and it is so hard, cause I need to be strong for my mother and my children.   I have no resources and I'm loosing hope.

I don't know what to do.