"Loving more than one"

[ShamrockMommy2]

I read this poem and decided to add it to my journal on cafemom.  I "edited" it to fit my situation better, since I am having twins.  This was originally written as "Loving Two" but I rewrote as "Loving more than one." 

 

 

 

"Loving more than one"

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then they are born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new babies as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to those new beings, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying them-as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times--only now, we are four. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how they adore you--as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of their new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with all of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for all 3 of you, you each have your own supply.

I love each of you. And I thank the three of you for blessing my life.

-Author Unknown

[possummom]

Nov. 25, 2008 at 5:40 PM

i love it. i also have twins and my older child. i never thought i could love two more like i love my older one but it is possible lol. thanks for sharing.

[tscritch]

Nov. 25, 2008 at 5:45 PM

Since I am pregant and have a two year old, this really touched me!! Thanks for sharing!!!

[linlee]

Nov. 26, 2008 at 2:17 PM

thanks for sharing. i loved it. i just had my 3rd child and i understand completely.