Just want to cry

[AsIAm43]

Sept 3rd my son's mother in law passed away very suddenly. This was an amazing woman in so many ways, many of you may even know of her or know her. She taught school in Valley Center and Wichita starting in the early 80's. She ran the Urban League, tutored kids, you name it she done it. She also had a daughter that was my bipolar daughters best friend for over 10 years. She steared me in the right direction so many times I lost count, and when my son and her daughter wanted to get married it was just a perfect match. She got up that morning and was getting ready for work, she went into the bathroom. Her son heard her scream and they say she was dead before she ever hit the floor. She was not very much older than hubby and I, this all has made me realize that we need to get insurance. I'm disabled and can't find a job that I can do where I don't have to walk or stand and yet can move around as I need to and take my medicene and here we are with house payments, a 4 year old to take care of and if I loose my husband I loose my house, person to work on my house and van, truck, or what ever I'm driving. So I start researching life insurance which I know NOTHING about. My husband gets it in his head that I must want to kill him because all of a sudden I think its inportant to have insurance on both of us. Do you have any idea what its like to have your husband think let alone say something like that to you? How could he even think such a thing? After 18 years together he don't know me any better than that? So now there won't be any insurance, I guess we will just live on the street if something happens to him. Let the city take care of his body, or his family, God knows we are always taking care of them, And believe me there are a lot of them that make a lot more money than he does. I just don't get it, yes her death hit me hard and mad me wake up and realize we aren't getting any younger and there are things that we should be doing to get ready for the future, whats so wrong with that????

I just can't believe that he would think such a thing. And it really hurts that something like that would even cross his mind let alone thinking about it for days before he even said anything to me about it. I need a really good cry!!!!!!!!!!!