I don't feel like I'm part of "his" family? (Very Long)

[AshleyJo]

Maybe it's because I'm white and he's black and that I'm in an area where interracial dating is rare. He's a total different person since we moved here. He really is at his worst and I don't know how much more I can take it. His family here is his number 1 priority, me and Nhaydia come 2nd always. The only time his family speaks to me is when they want Nhaydia. Of all the places they go, all the events they go to, not once have I got asked to go. Oh except a Mary Kay party, which the woman didn't even have makeup for white ladies, so I felt totally embarrassed because I felt I was out of the loop. There has been 3 family members that been in the hospital since I been here. Never has he asked me if I wanted to go with him. He jumps at the gun for them, but yet anytime I needed him around he is never here, I still remember when I thought I went into labor, I called him---he was with his friends---- he asked if I needed to go to the hospital, I said I was not sure, but I was scared. Did he come running to me to make sure everything was ok, no......he came home 6 hours later. I had an abnormal pap smear, I was scared, ended up low-risk HPV, still has not cured and they are seeing if it is progressing which could lead to cervical cancer, my aunt had it. He doesn't even show the least bit of concern. His dad went into surgery for a rupture appendix, now he didn't even know his dad for 13 years, his dad will never answer his phone calls because he thinks that De will need something. But for a minor surgery he was at the hospital the whole time but two days he was there. He came back we went out to eat and he was like well I'm going to pick my Uncle up and we're going to see my dad. I said oh what time are we leaving. He was like you want to go. He didn't even want to bring me around him. I was like well why don't you bring Nhaydia so he can see his granddaughter. Yeah needless to say we didn't go that day, he brought us the next day just because I mentioned it.

Last night his Grandma, who has cancer, went into some bad seizures. So he went to the local hospital. Comes home says I'm going to Jackson. Now didn't even come into the door and said well they are transporting me grandma to Jackson tonight and a few of us are going. So I asked why what's going on and he got all pissy and says see this is why I don't tell you anything. What the hell did I do wrong! So since we been together for a while and we have a daughter together...he can say this is my fiance, but can't treat me like it......I thought he would ask, whether we went or not, if we would want to go. That's what the other half is supposed to do, be there for the one they love and their family. But no of course not. I asked him who was all going... I was trying to see if anyone non-related was going, which his mom's boyfriend of less then a year probably went if he didn't have to work. So he was to good to even wait inside with me until they picked him up. He waited outside, his excuse was they are going to want to see Nhaydia and I don't want them in the house (House was not clean). I said you don't know that, chances are they weren't coming in. So it's 11am no call from him at all, they left last night at 7pm. He didn't even leave me the keys to the vehicle. Took the atm card out of my purse and took money out. Now we are on a real tight budget, need to fix 2 vehicle at that, and he spends money like crazy. So I called up his sister's phone, he said I had this card for awhile---lie-----then he was like I needed to eat and I bought flowers for my grandmother.Okay why couldn't you tell me this, why do I have to investigate it. Then he hangs up on me.

I'm thinking of going home after my exams for a month. Then when I come back for next semester I want to live somewhere else, just me and her. His family don't want nothing to do with me, and when he is around his family he someone else. He don't take me around his family. For thanksgiving we went to his aunt's/ He kept pushing the issue were you okay, how was it. I was like I'm fine, I'm okay. So there was two things that I didn't like. 1 they were going out in the back yard, his uncles, and trying to shoot a deer illegally at night. And 2 his damn drunk ass, alcoholic uncle was trying to give Nhaydia a sip of beer. So I said those were the two things you know I won't tolerate, for 1 I'm an animal lover, I'm not even around this stuff during the day----2 I will hurt your uncle if he ever does that again. He yelled at me and said your complaining now and I had a great day all day and now you a ruining it. Well he pushed the issue, for two Nhaydia comes first and safety and then you should know if they shot a deer we were going to leave because you know how I am. Yeah he can't support me, he like the family's little bitch. Yet they could gives two cents about him when he don't live near them.

I try to be there for him, but he won't let me in. I understand people get sick in people's family, my aunt did 2 years ago at christmas and was unconsiuous at the hospital. But I took him with me because that's what a couple does they are there for each other.