Bi-Polar what? You mean lazy and don't care?

[JLynn0871]

I am a mother to 4 boys and I have 2 step sons ages 3 & 5.  I am raising these boys with their father, my DH.  They are so precious and sweet!

Their mom is 33 and has 6 kids.  She has none of her children in her custody.  I heard she may have her 2 girls that are 7 & 8 but I have no idea.  She saw the boys last year 3 times maybe and never calls or tries to see them.  She does not even care how they are. If she did, she would have already had a fit to see them.  I am sorry, NO ONE ON THIS EARTH will keep me from my children.

She has left word several time this year with random people ... her address and phone number.  It has changed 7 times since February SO I am not sure where she is or what is going on.  I know she has Bi-polar or as I call it she is lazy and does not care.  I am SO SICK of people abusing the word Bi-Polar for their excuses of sex and drugs and she is not helping the word either. 

So she calls work today wanting to have the boys for 4 hours at Christmas and she is currently in a Womens Battered Shelter.  How the heck did she get there?  She said to get her GED...... Umm, last time I checked you had to be homeless with children or leaving your DH or SO because he was abusing you or your children.  Hmm, well anyway..... I have the attitude to give her a chance but WHY... why should I give her the chance to have a relationship with these boys that I am helping raise and paying for their everything?  She will see them like she has all of her kids and like a drug, she will get her fix and leave for another 6 to 10 months.  I cannot contribute to them being hurt and being left to deal with her crap she does to them.

I am so afraid she is just full of it but then again what if she is trying to change?  I have no idea how to handle this.

Why can't women just take care of their kids and be done with it?

I am mad but then again I am trying to be positive here.

All she can say is "I have Bi-Polar and I cannot help it"  well then how do you get to the bars?  How can you go there and do drugs and then months down the road check on your kids??

One time she will be bi-polar and then the next time she is fine!  Which is it??  I AM SICK OF HER EXCUSES!!!!!

We all have some kind of Bi-Polar but MY GOODNESS..... WHY blame your entire life of selfishness on it?   I call it neglect also.  These are not seasonal children, call once a quarter. 

The last time she did have the kids, she took them to a party and when DH called her at 11:30PM she was slurring and could hardly talk and some guy said to call back.  We looked for her and the boys for 30 hours straight and could not find them and when we did they were starving and filthy!

UGH!!!  I am afraid to trust her at all.  No matter where she is, it is scary!

 

 

[Nixshix]

Dec. 9, 2008 at 5:26 PM

I wouldn't let her see the kids.

It's all find and great if she's trying to change.. but until she has actually changed and can prove that she knows how to take of their basic necessities, forget that. Those kids, NO kids, need that kind of heartbreak. If she really truly cared about them, she would know that.

 

[TruDiva]

Dec. 10, 2008 at 9:50 AM

I wouldn't bother, unless she makes a big deal about seeing them.  If so, offer for her to come to your house for a supervised visit.  Either that or nothing. 

[NicolesMommy]

Jan. 3, 2009 at 9:59 AM

Personally, if she is that bad then I would make it SUPERVISED visits. Have your Hubby deal with that, not you. My ex used to call on occassion & want to see my DD; no more messing with her head. These kinds of so called PARENTS will always hurt our kids. They have NO right to expect to see them if they have ben away for so long.

[4meyerkidsmommy]

Jan. 13, 2009 at 11:55 AM

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, and I completly agree Bi-polar is not an excuse! I am Bi-polar and I have a full time job (where I have worked for 7 yrs) and a house load of kids and a husband to take care of and I do it. I have never done drugs or drink ( doing these things intensifies the bi-polar, but being bi-polar does not MAKE you do them) and while my husband can have difficulty dealing with what we call " The mood swings " more than anything it just makes me a very complex person deep to my core in a way I can't explain that makes words (such as if my husband says something mean) feels just like he had an affair or something and makes me go into this crazy mood where everything he says has some other meaning behind it or something and always makes me insecure like I just know he's gonna leave me or something but anyways....... like I said it's no excuse for her.

I wouldn't think twice about telling her no.