Baby Shower Weekend (long sorry)

[mommylovesavery]

Okay let me start by saying the shower itself was just fine and everyone said they had a nice time.

a little background...been planning this shower for my sister for quite sometime and was trying my best to make everything nice for her on my extremely limited budget.  Her friend Carmel offered to help by purchasing the cake and finger foods and a couple prizes.  The weekend before the shower (after TG) we talked to D's mom.  We just wanted to make sure she got home okay from AZ where she went to see D's grandparents in a timeshare they have.  I told her that we would be up the following weekend for the shower as long as the road was open I WAS coming and since she lives 20 min from my sister we would make a point to spend some time with them.  I made it clear is was to be a short trip and we likely wouldn't spend the night, but at least we could spend most of a day or evening with them. I told her I would call when we got to the Mtns and go from there. 

Avery and I had intended to leave Friday night, but we had to get some stuff done at home and it ended up getting too late to leave that night so I got up with D at 2 am and get him off to work and then got the car loaded, took a shower and got Avery in the car.  We left by 6 am.  We hit ski traffic, which is kind of a bummer so our drive turned into a 5 hour drive! We called D's mom from the highway as we were passing the town she lives in and left a msg saying we were in the mtns could we get together that evening after the shower, cuz we wouldn't be staying past Sunday afternoon.  I had made plans with an old friend (HEATHER!!) to get together with our boys at the park.  Heather was willing to drive an hour to see us so I really wanted to do that! We got to my sisters at 11 am and started decorating.  D's mom called at noon and said she was sorry, but she hadn't heard from me during the week and made plans for that night could we do it sunday.  I told her "Quite honestly Carla, I don't know what time is even gonna work tomorrow, the best we can do is touch base tomorrow and go from there" Avery ended up eating my sisters left over spaghetti for lunch, We had had mcdonalds for breakfast at 7 or 8, I had nothing after that.  The shower was supposed to start at 2, but Carmel didn't order the cake.  My sister actually had to order her own cake at 6:30 the morning of the shower.  They got it done and Carmel picked it up.  Carmel called at 11:30 and said she was ready and gonna head over to help.  She didn't get there until 2:30 or 3.  She had the punch supplies, cake and finger foods!  We had punctual guests who got there right at 2! but had nothing to offer them, but our company & water.  So the shower officially got going around 3 or a little after!

So the shower itself once it was going went okay I guess, we played only two games and had cake while sis opened her gifts. Everyone left around 5:30 or so. 

I was hungry by this time and Rikene (sister) order some pizza and Israel (her bf & baby daddy).  this may be petty, but I have to say it anyways.  She order 2 M pizzas (hawaiin, pepperoni) kickers and cheezy bread.  Great! I love hawaiin pizza and Avery eats both!  She ONLY offers us pepperoni pizza, and leave the hawaiin pizza between her and israel. Israel offered the Hawaiin and I said not right now thanks, as I was still working on my piece of pepperoni and helping Avery cut his piece up. So my sister says "Its all for you babe" WTF now I know its just pizza, and whatever, but we ARE NOT that way in our family, and when family comes to our house we have extra groceries and people always eat our food and we don't complain or say something is JUST for someone and not for others! Its just NEVER been that way between us!  So anyhow I only end up eating one piece of pizza, cuz I feel like I shouldn't be eating any!  

Avery by this time is falling asleep at the table, he had played really hard with the other little boy that came to the shower and had no nap, and only slept an hour or so of the 5 hour drive.  So its 6:30pm and I had hoped to make it till 7 with him, but I held him at the table for a few min.  We didn't take an air bed or anything since we left Sat and were coming home sunday, cuz it was supposed to snow monday and I don't want to be preg. and driving with a toddler in the snow. Rikene has a futon and last time we stayed with them they moved the mattress to the spare room (gonna be baby Taylor's room, so no guest furniture) and we sleep on the mattress on the floor, was pretty comfortable and I assumed thats what we could do this time.  I realize it was kinda early and all, but no offer was made to move the mattress.  I asked Rikene to help me lay one of our blankets on the floor in the bedroom so I could lay him down.  While that was happening Israel put a movie in, in the living room and was lounging on the futon.  I am thinking no big deal I can lay on the floor for a couple of hours, it won't kill us.  But Rikene went and plopped her butt down on the futon with a quick good night!. Now this kind of infuriated me, because they stayed at my house for 4 days at thanksgiving or something, and I got really sick TG night.  I gave up my room and my airbed (avery and I have to share an airbed, cuz D's back can't take it & he has to work and Avery outgrew his toddler bed. we are working on it though) for them for four days and was sicker than sick throwing up and pregnant and dehydrated, and they can't even offer to let me lay on their damn futon AFTER they watch their FU#$&^G movie!! my hips and back hurt soo bad the next morning.  They slept in of course and Avery and I were up at 5 and 6:30.  We were starving of course, but I was soo offended still by the stingy supper and sleeping arrangements that we just left and had BK for breakfast!

When we got back my sister musta been feeling guilty that we had to venture out for our own breakfast, cuz she was coming down the stairs heading to the store to find us and buy breakfast supplies.  I told we had already eaten but would drive her to the store.  in the midst of all this I shoulda called Carla back (D's mom) and told then that it wasn't going to work.  We would be meeting Heather at 11 and leaving after that.  My sister was so chatty and I had to get our stuff together and quite honestly I was upset with Carla for making plans know we were coming and expecting us to work around her.(she is very selfish with her time and we always have to work around her schedule and then are made to feel guilty if she misses Avery)

We made it to the park and to lunch with Heather and the boys and had a FABULOUS time! Thanks Heather for WANTING to see us and making us FEEL wanted!  Thanks for Ave's truck and the gifts for me and Riley too! SOO NICE of you! :o) This was the highlight of our trip!

So I left Carla a msg around 2 saying we were just gonna head home and I was sorry it didn't work out, that we would see her at Christmas I guess, love you bye.  pretty much was what I said, I said sorry like 3 times though.  Anyway she calls back a few min later and I say hello and ask if she got my msg that I was sorry we didn't make this time.  She s says "I did and I am upset, i think its very rude of you to just now have called and to not be coming now" I told her I thought it was rude of her to make plans when she knew all week we were coming and had no prior plans she mentioned the week before" She starts SCREAMING at me!  I NEVER once raised my voice to her and said "Carla, we were both upset and I can tell now that you are more upset than I am and I would like to call you when I get home and talk to you rationally about the situation, so that we don't let our emotions control what we say right now."  The whole while she is still trying to yell at me, then she says "you know what, DON'T BOTHER!!!!!!!!!" and hangs up on me! WTF

We finally make it home at 6:30 pm to a messy house and two tired grown men playing XBOX....sigh...What a long 36 hours.

Thanks for reading the whole thing if you did.  Didn't mean to be so detailed, but wanted to get my side out and I have a tendancy as I have gotten older to over-explain things so people don't make assumptions about me....LOL

[MusikMama]

Dec. 10, 2008 at 7:54 AM

Oh my....so sorry honey! I know you tried so hard to make it a nice trip and shower for your sis, the least she could have done was make you feel welcome and comfortable in her home.

HUGS....seriously, wish I could give you one. Breaks my heart.....I KNOW you tried. That's all you can do sweety. Take a little comfort in karma....

[mommylovesavery]

Dec. 10, 2008 at 8:25 AM

Thanks Kate! I appreciate it! I did try very hard! I know karma works! I totally believe in it and something nice will happen soon, or try to! LOL

(Original Poster)

[MommyTatum]

Dec. 11, 2008 at 6:13 PM

Awwhhh MySweetie Pie!!!  I'm sorry you had such a hard time.  I wish I could have been there to help you.  And I would have given you all of my pizza and my bed, too!

What was she thinking??!  Have you talked to her since the shower?

I don't know what to say about you MIL...She should have understood more instead of making you feel guilty.  I hope you patch things up with her.

Many MEGA-HUGS!

[mommylovesavery]

Dec. 11, 2008 at 7:38 PM

Thanks for my MEGA-HUGS I need them more and more these days! I haven't talked to MIL and told D if she doesn't apologize at least for hanging up on me then I honestly don't know if she should come at Xmas!

(Original Poster)

[MommaBearNcubs]

Jan. 8, 2009 at 2:54 PM

I don't know how I missed this post!!!! Anyways, you are more then welcome for your gifts and I'm so happy that we finally got to see each other again!!! It was so nice meeting Avery and the boys all played well together! Rene, I know that you have been through a lot with D and his family. Take comfort in knowing that your the bigger person for taking the time out of your plans to want to get together with your MIL. In life, we can't always make everyone happy, but at least we can try and it only really matters if making them happy has made yourself happy as well!!! Being pregnant doesn't help the way you feel at times. So, sometimes its better to just let things be and move on. Things will eventually clear up. I think that you did an extremely nice thing for you sister. I believe that I would have felt the same way as you. Just remember, if you ever wanna get away for a little bit you can always come visit us. I would gladly give up our bed for you and the kids and share my food and make you feel welcome. I heart you Rene!! LOL!!! Your a beautiful person on the inside and out, and you should never have to feel less then perfect around anyone!!!!!! Lots of hugs and love coming your way.