Watching Her Bloom

[romalove]

I have a twelve year old daughter.  She's midway between child and adult, almost a teen but not quite, a bundle of doubts and contradictions, sure of her convictions but unsure of herself.  It is amazing and wonderful to watch her.

She has been a cheerleader since she's 5.  Now that she's in 7th grade, she's rethinking if this is what she wants to continue to do.  I have been pushing her to keep in the cheer, because I think it's good exercise and she has a group of great friends there that she loves, but I understand that it's time consumptive and she doesn't have the love of it that she used to.  She's now totally passionate about music.  We are going to an away competition this weekend, and next to her packed bag with her clothing and her cheer uniform and other essentials she has packed her electric guitar and an amp.  The message is, I'm doing the cheer but I live the music.  She was teaching herself to play, but I have gotten her an instructor, and she has completely blossomed into an awesome musician and songwriter. 

My daughter is one of those kids who questions everything, so if she says "How does my hair look" and I say "you look fine" she will ask me three different ways about the hair to get total assurance that it's OK.  She won't believe it's OK on her own.  She worries about her clothing, and yet, she has developed a very unique sense of style that is clearly her own.  She's not interested in wearing what everyone else is wearing; in fact, she will go the direct opposite, because she wants to have her clothing express her and not some group mindthink.

As difficult as these years are, watching her grow and bloom into her own person, someone that's really  unique and special, is a great pleasure.  Anyone who has a tween or teen girl knows all the rough patches, the mean girls, the weight worries, the attitude.  To see some light at the end of the tunnel that she will come through adolescence with some strong sense of self is a great thing to behold.