My surgery tomorrow

[livetolaughlove]

I am really freaking out right now. in less than 24 hours, I will be on the operating table, and everything will be in someone else's hands. I know it's not a major surgery, but I also know that anything can happen. So I can't stop thinking about the worse case scenerio- something goes horribly wrong, and I never see my baby grow up. She is the love of my life and I haven't had enough time with her, and I don't have alot of boobie milk stored!  so what  if I die? how would Scott raise her on his own? What would he really be able to tell her about me-we haven't known eachother for years on end for him to be able to really share a huge part of who i really am. Would he include my mother in her life? how much sacrifice a mother makes for her child is something i have been realizing everyday since she was born. (This has really made me appreciate my own mom so much more. ) I feel so lucky that Aleah chose me to be be her mom, and I can't help but wonder what her life would be like without me in it. I am so scared that I can't stop focusing on the negative right now. Normally I would think it's really  no big deal, and I am going to have some good drugs to take afterwards! But when I think about leaving this world knowing that I have this preciuos life now that Aleah has become my world, I just choke up. I still feel gratitiude that it is me that has to have surgery, and had all the complications after her birth and not Aleah. I have to slap myself out of this negative think, and focus on the positive things in my life, trust my new DR and have faith that I am going to be just fine! No more freaking out  is allowed~!

[jjnaaucoin]

Dec. 14, 2008 at 2:29 PM

It will be alrght...and it is PERFECTLY normal. Been there and I was fine...although I do wonder if they made fun of me if I snored or was I talking while I was under...were they laughing at me...Okay I don't want to know that EITHER. LOL

[NutritionMama]

Dec. 14, 2008 at 6:34 PM

Your concerns are real, but we are praying for you. Have faith that God will always protect you and Aleah.

"Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you."  - St. Francis de Sales

[SassyMomma4U]

Dec. 19, 2008 at 8:50 AM

I hope everything goes well for you.

[kpbug]

Dec. 21, 2008 at 6:22 PM

What kind of surgey did u have?  Glad u are OK