Keeping Up Appearances

[Mamaoftwingles]

Hi Mamas,

   Something quite profound has hit me on a couple of occasions over the past few days and I felt the need to express it, so bear with me... You know how this usually goes....but still... I promise there is a point (well, there is in my head, anyhow!)

  So, where to start?  I suppose the beginning would make the most sense, but that would take too long...so I won't do that...

  Well, one of my mom's issues with Christianity is that she sees my husband "acting" one way on Sundays, saying and doing the "right" things around others, but the rest of the time not really having his priorities in line.  Honestly, its one of my issues as well... I do think its hypocritical and I don't like it, but it did get me to thinking....and I had to tell my mom a few things which was a little bit uncomfortable because she is not a Christian (although she says she believes in God... I can't get the "next step" out of her... I'm trying though...gently, gently), but I still had to say it and deal with it...

   So, I do not involve myself with hypocrisy.  I live the way I feel I should be, by Biblical guidelines.  I speak and behave in ways that are godly and kind and loving...on purpose, intentionally...and its a definite choice...I have to CHOOSE to do this...I'm human and it doesn't come naturally all the time.  But I did get to thinking that YES... the way things APPEAR to be has an impact on those around us.  My actions (the way I behave, how my actions appear) impact my family, my friends and people around me.  I'm not interested in keeping up with the Joneses type appearances, but how things appear to be, in regards to my actions, is very relevant to my/our way of life.  It is important to me to be kind and loving, even to people who don't seem  (to others) like they deserve it.  This is something my mom has a very difficult time with... and I feel that if someone is miserable, they need to be shown love and kindness, perhaps even more than the average person.  It is NOT easy to stay consistent with this, but I try very hard because the appearance of kindness in such a person's life could be enough to make them want to go on living for one more day.  I WANT my children to see the world as a place that they can contribute to, to help improve with love. 

   Keeping up appearances is not necessarily the negative thing that it is made to be by my mom.  This is not a fake front, this is real.  My joy can't be stolen.  My sorrows and my shames can be given away, I don't need to hold on to them.  How things APPEAR to be can mean the difference of a very bad thing or something that is very bearable.  If it is within my power to help someone transition from a place of discomfort to a place of comfort, why would I not?  If I am able to help, why would I not?   Keeping up Appearances does not have to be a negative thing.  I WANT to keep up the appearance of being a kind and loving person.  True, I'd like to believe its not only an appearance, but the truth, as this is the way I do try to live life, but isn't the appearance of your actions the first and only thing some people will ever get to see?  Let's keep up the appearance of kindness and love.  Beyond that, take it one step farther and live out the kindness and love.  This is what I want my children to know.  I pray for my husband, he is not a bad person by any means, he is focused a bit too much on appearance soley for the sake of appearances... so I pray...it is what is within my ability to do for him to help him overcome whatever the issue is that makes him care so much about what others think.  Once we get past the desire to keep up appearances (in the negative way), we are able to APPEAR to others as the kind and loving people we were created to be and we are able to live our lives in such a way that not only appears to be full of joy and love, but truly is.

[uggs-lover]

Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:17 PM

Thank you for sharing Jen....I hope that you are able to come to terms with everything. It sounds like you are doing just fine. The fact that you are able to SEE what is going on, says everything right there...hugs to you!

[BeanIrene1]

Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:26 PM

You know the thing is that we are all learning. I too, want to live like Jesus, be kind, caring and compassionate to all.  Sometimes it is those appearances that help change our everyday.  All we can do is our best. And hopefully we will impact the ones around us.  Spouses, children, friends and family alike. 

I enjoyed this, and feel irregardless of what others feel, that you are doing your best...and that is truly the work of God.