The Full Interview

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The Full Interview
Dec 17, 2008 at 11:09 PM
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Here's the complete interview between Cafe_Cynthia and I on full-term nursing, just in case anyone's interested. I had a lot to say! For your reading ease, I grayed and unbolded what made it into the article (found in Toddler Buzz).

1. What is extended breastfeeding by definition? Does it refer to the specific age of the child? How often you do it? Is it purely for comfort or is the child's health still an issue? What is the rationale of nursing a child beyond that first year or two?

Extended breast feeding refers to mothers nursing past a child's first birthday. It's done as often as a child needs which can be just a couple times a day or far more frequently. I find that the frequency of nursing waxes and wanes; when Isis is distracted and excited about learning new words or tricks she'll nurse less, but if she's teething she'll nurse a lot more. I don't personally like the term "extended breastfeeding" because it's not unnatural for a child to nurse past one year, I like "full-term breastfeeding" instead. There's no certain age when breast milk suddenly becomes invaluable and children take on the nutritional needs similar to a calf, so the rationale behind full term nursing is simply that it's healthy. It's good for the child's physical, emotional and mental health. In fact, the world-wide average age for a child to self-wean is something like 3 or 4 years.

2. Tell me about your family/kids. How many and what are their ages? We're new to toddlerhood, my husband and I have one daughter, Isis, who is 16 months old.

3. Did you begin breastfeeding with your first child? Did you always intend to do so? Did it come easily to you? I absolutely knew I'd breastfeed from the beginning. I never thought I'd go past the first year, though, because I was concerned about the attachment and dependence Isis would have for me. But I started researching and learning and I realized that a one, two, three year old child still needs mommy, and that's ok; that full term nursing does not impede on a child's independence at all but actually helps cultivate independence.

4. Did you breastfeed all your children? What age is the child you are nursing now? I only have one child right now, but there are many mothers who are able to tandem nurse their toddler and infant, and I think that's just amazing.

5. What is it like to breastfeed an older child? Are there obstacles? As Isis grows she becomes more curious and more exploitative of my body and hers, and it's very common for children to perform gymnastics while nursing. That can get a little annoying at times, but nursing in and of itself isn't really any more of a challenge now than when she was an infant, the challenges are just different.

6. What are some of the benefits of breastfeeding an older child -- both for you and the child? Oh wow, there are so many benefits! LLLi.org, breastfeeding.com and kellymom.com are great for info, here's some of what they say: nutritional benefits of nursing a toddler are great- mother's milk is a great source of much of thenutrition a growing child needs, nursing tots are sick less often, have fewer allergies, are well adjusted socially. For women, full term nursing helps to protect against ovarian, endometrial and breast cancers; osteoporosis; and rheumatoid arthritis.
I've also found that continuing nursing has made Isis' transitional stages much easier on all of us. Honestly, I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to try to wean her while she is teething, or going through a tough growth spurt, or getting frustrated trying to learn something new. I really believe she's much happier,more independent and more confident now than if I had tried to wean her.

7. Do do this in public or only at home? I nurse Isis whenever she needs it. Toddlers don't need to nurse as often as infants, but if we're in public and she needs to nurse, she nurses (nursing in public is protected by law in most states, it is not considered indecent at all). I try to be as discrete about it as possible, and she makes it really easy. When we're out and about she's having so much fun exploring new places that it's really very rare that she'll want to nurse anyway.

8. What kinds of comments do you get from strangers, or from people you know who know you do this? I'm sure every mother deals with comments about how they could better be raising their children! I haven't gotten any comments from strangers yet, but a lot of moms do and it can be quite discouraging. I have sisters with children Isis' age who both believe in weaning at one. So far my family has been relatively tolerant because they know it's not their place to tell me to wean Isis, but I have had a couple conversations in which they've told me they don't understand why I'm still nursing and that they think two years is too long.

9. Are there any drawbacks, problems associated with extended breastfeeding? Not really. It's tough being a mom, nursing or not. It's common for a nursing mom to feel "touched-out" from time to time, meaning that she's tired of nursing, or feels like her baby only loves her for her breasts, but those periods are relatively short and I'm sure non-nursing mothers go through similar feelings. A good way to deal with these feelings is finding some me-time. Instances of feeling touched-out are also overshadowed by the immense sense of satisfaction that comes from the extra bonding and connection of nursing, as well. And man, I love not having to go through the process of weaning.

10. How is the toll it takes on your body and your breasts? I don't really notice it because it's not any different than nursing an infant. I still have to eat for two, but I've been doing that since her conception so it's nothing new. It also helps to remember that breastfeeding is what breasts are for! Nursing is nothing our bodies aren't able to handle.

11. Unfortunately, I could not keep up milk production after 6 months, no matter how hard I tried. What tips or suggestions can you offer moms who want to continue breastfeeding but are having a hard time. How to you keep up your milk supply? Water water water! Breast milk is mostly water, and there's a big noticeable difference in my supply on days when I drink more water. Drinking lots of water and continuing to nurse on demand are the best things a mom can do to support her supply. The more a mother nurses, the more milk her body makes. After that, other foods that help supply are oats and Mother's Milk Tea. Probably the biggest down fall is over supplementing with formula. Obviously, it's sometimes necessary to supplement, and there's nothing wrong with that, but the less she supplements the better. It's also important to know that it doesn't have to be all or nothing, meaning that a mom can mix formula with breast milk, or nurse a couple times a day and bottle feed the rest of the time; some breast milk is better than none.
It's also common for a mother to assume she's not producing enough when she really is. Milk supply constantly adjusts to what baby needs, so as a baby nurses less a mother might be producing less and she might feel she's not producing enough. But it's important to know that a woman does not have to feel engorged or even full to be producing enough, and that the amount a woman can pump is not an adequate indication of how much milk she's actually producing.

1. Could you give a few examples of HOW nursing has helped to cultivate Isis's independence?

I found these quotes on kellymom.com about independence:

*Baldwin continues: "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable."independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence than children forced into independence pre Children who achieve maturely.

*Weaning should not be a detachment from the mother but rather a state in which the child feels "so full and so right that he is ready to take on other relationships" and move on to other things. Weaning a child before his time can leave a child feeling unfulfilled and his sense of trust violated, according to Dr. Sears

And I've seen the way she behaves compared to other children who have been weaned. She's more and more adventurous everyday, whereas I've noticed children her age start getting very clingy and even apprehensive when they've been weaned. I feel like she just has that extra bit of confidence that she can always come to me and nurse anytime she wants to, it seems very reassuring for her to know she can always get what she needs from me.

2. How long do you plan to continue nursing? Do you have a cutoff age in mind?
Isis will most likely self wean. My personal goal is to nurse her for two years.

Oh, and what about the teeth issue?! Many of my friends stopped nursing after that very first bite. Ouch! Does Isis ever bite you, and how do you get through that? What are some tips?

A child who is properly latched and nursing can not cause pain with his teeth. So a toddler who is biting is a toddler who is not nursing, and it's time to end the session. A quick and firm, "Ouch! Don't bite!" followed by tucking the breast away quickly gets the message across that it's not ok to bite Mommy. I've found this to work really well, Isis responded immediately to this method and hasn't bitten me in months. (This isn't the same way to deal with an infant who bites because an infant depends more on breast milk for nutrition and is less likely to understand what's going on.)
The one thing to keep in mind, though, is that the child might be biting because he's teething. If that's the case, it's important to find him something else to teeth on to take care of his pain.

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