"God" and car accidents

[jsbenkert]

Today I was in a car accident.  I was running errands, and had just one more to complete before my two girls and I went home for lunch and a nap.  We had had a busy morning, with my younger daughter's school program, followed by a party, a stop at the post office and the grocery store.  I was really looking forward to spending a quiet afternoon at home.

My plans changed quickly when the driver in the car in front of me suddenly decided to brake to turn into a strip mall on the right side of the road.  We were both in the far right-hand lanes on a six-lane road.  I was going the speed limit and using the same precautions that I always do.  I won't claim to be a perfect driver, but I do my best to follow the rules of the road, including using my turn signal (even to change lanes), following the speed limit, coming to complete stops at red lights and stop signs, etc.  I limit my distractions (I try to not use my cell phone, change radio stations, etc, unless I am at a stop).  Today something happened, though.  I was behind the other car, glanced in my rear view mirror, and then was suddenly facing red tail lights.  The other driver suddenly decided to turn into the strip mall.  I couldn't stop my car in time--I slammed on the brakes, but the pavement was wet from rain and my van skidded into the other car.

We both pulled into the parking lot.  I checked on my girls.  They were shaken up, but okay, so I got out of my car to check on the other driver.  She was definitely shaken up, as well, but otherwise unhurt.  Somehow her car only sustained cosmetic scratches to the rear fender.  My van, however, is severely damaged and undrivable.  The other driver and I exchanged information.  I expressed how glad I was that no one was hurt.  She thanked her lord and Jesus.  A police officer came to make the report.  No one was issued a citation.  I contacted my husband (who is out of town), our insurance company, a tow company and a car rental company, while simultaneously talking to my daughters, the police, and the other driver.  My car was towed away, much to my younger daughter's great distress (she has autism and with everything that just happened, it was a bit much to watch her Mommy's Car being removed from the parking lot), and we were picked up by a driver of the rental car agency to rent a new car while ours is (hopefully) being repaired.  It was a lot to deal with.  That all took about four hours.  So much for lunch and a snugly nap with my girls.

But in spite of all that we went through today, I am perplexed about something that the other driver said.  Perhaps someone out there can help me understand this.

In the midst of exchanging information and speaking to the officer, the other driver and I at one point hugged each other, I suppose in an expression of mutual regret, concern and relief that everyone was okay.  But then she turned to me with a smile and asked point blank, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior?"  That was the last thing I had expected to hear, and I was momentarily taken aback.  I answered her honestly that, no, I do not follow any particular faith, but that I do respect that others do, and left it at that.  She just sort of smiled and commented that she believes that everything happens for a reason and expressed hope that I would someday see the light.  That has bothered me (along with reliving the accident itself, trying to figure out how it happened) the rest of the day.  What on earth does a person's faith have to do with this?  That question was about as personal to me as one about my sexual preferences or how often I poop.  It's really no one's business besides those to whom I choose to divulge that information.  Since when is it okay to ask that?  Would it have been okay if I were to out of the blue ask someone if they were Jewish?  Or if I said something like, "Wow, that sure was terrifying.  Do you pray to Allah?"  So I'm looking for answers.  Since when is it okay to ask that kind of question?  She already expressed her gratitude to her god, why was my faith of her concern?  I didn't attack, snub or even comment when she thanked her particular deity.  I would think that the fact that I didn't echo her thanks to god or Jesus or say "amen" to her praises to her god might have been enough of a clue that I didn't follow the same religion.  I was polite, concerned, and as thoughtful as I could be in those circumstances.  I just don't understand why it would be necessary to ask such a personal question.  Perhaps someone can explain this to me.

[Laura2U]

Dec. 19, 2008 at 9:10 PM

Well, as a Christian I see that she was showing love and concern for a stranger. I know it was probably offensive to you, and you don't understand, but she was genuinely trying to share something that she felt would help you. I wouldn't take it personally, but for what it was, that she was trying to share something that was personal to her. I promise you, she wasn't judging you or trying to make you feel like crap in any way, she was showing love in her own Christian way. Take it how you will.

[Laura2U]

Dec. 19, 2008 at 9:11 PM

BTW, I'm glad you and your girls are okay and I hope you can get your van fixed.

 

[jjnaaucoin]

Dec. 19, 2008 at 9:13 PM

I agree with Laura2U...

[jsbenkert]

Dec. 20, 2008 at 10:47 AM

I can't say that I was offended.  It just made me wonder, because I just can't see any one of any other faith asking the same sort of question.  It seems odd to me--would her concern and compassion be different depending on what faith I do or don't follow?  If not, then why ask?  Whether or not I believe in Jesus as my savior has no bearing on how the accident happened, or the extent of damage to my van, or how my daughters fared in the collision, unless she somehow believes that the damage would have been less, or the accident would .  So, I don't understand the context of the question or its appropriateness to the situation.  It just seems odd to me.  It's kind of like this:  if I were a superstitious person and believed that good or bad things happen depending on the color of underwear you have on, then would  it be appropriate for me to ask her if she was wearing blue underwear?  That's something personal, but if that is where my faith/superstition lay, then would it be okay for me to ask that question?  I'm sure that her faith brings her comfort and that she probably believes that if she didn't have faith in her god that the outcome would have been much worse (which brings up a whole new realm of philosophical questions that I have with that sort of thought process). . .but it still comes back to the same question:  what does my faith have to do with this?

(Original Poster)

[snickerdoodler]

Dec. 20, 2008 at 12:15 PM

You are reading way, WAY too much into it.  She didn't ask you because she was wondering if the accident would have been avoided otherwise.  The Bible teaches that (not exact words or scripture) we are given "divine appointments" where God puts people in our paths for a particular reason.  Many times we overlook things and assume they are just coincidences.  This woman was HAPPY to have met you, even in those circumstances, and was taking advantage of the oppurtunity to witness to you.  She felt like your paths crossed for a reason and it would be negligent of her to let the moment pass without telling you about the gift of Jesus.  One who walks closely with God will have an open heart and quiet spirit and be receptive and sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.  That means when I am out and about, minding my own business, God puts people in my path and sometimes I feel an urge to talk to them.  It's just like a sudden thought in your mind from out of nowhere.  In the past, I ignored that urge.. but over the years, have become sensitive to His calling and will respond.  Sometimes God is leading me to witness, sometimes it is just to encourage someone.  He uses people to lift others up.  Also, just because someone does not receive Jesus as Saviour after I have witnessed to them, I know it is not a "wasted" effort.  It was a divine appointment, and God is planting seeds.  I am sure that the lady is quite glad she had the run-in with you and is praying that the seed will be watered by others you run into.

[Laura2U]

Dec. 20, 2008 at 1:08 PM

Yeah, I agree. Don't look so deep into it. She was just showing concern for you in her Christian way. She felt God put you in her path for a reason, so she took the opportunity to ask you if you had the same gift she had. That's all, nothing philosophical or superstitious, just concern and love for a stranger.

[jsbenkert]

Dec. 21, 2008 at 2:13 PM

Hmm. . .I hear what you are saying.  I still don't get it.  But thanks.  It must be a behavior that you must be Christian to understand.

(Original Poster)

[worldbestmom]

Dec. 22, 2008 at 8:24 AM

I think it was rude. Even if this woman is called to "witness", it should be to people who ask for it not just random strangers. I am from an eclectic religious background and believe a lot of different things. Is it okay that I inform you from a Jewish perspective that you worship a false messiah? Same-same. How is concern over someones religious beliefs concern over their wellbeing. Why do Christians care so much where other people go when they die. Is it any of their business. A lot of us don't believe in heaven or hell, so what then? People should keep religion to themselves unless asked.

[jsbenkert]

Dec. 22, 2008 at 2:42 PM

Worldbestmom, that was along the lines of what I was thinking.  Not so much that she was being deliberately rude, but I just don't get the context of the whole thing.  I was raised as a Christian, but along the way, it just didn't make sense to me anymore.  But while a Christian, I never ever felt that I should impose my beliefs on anyone, nor do I now.  I wouldn't dream of trying to convince anyone else to believe what I do, because that isn't my place.  And I've never been approached by anyone of another faith to try to convince me to believe in theirs.

In fact, after the accident, I spoke with a Jewish friend of mine and told her about the whole experience, and she just shook her head, and wondered aloud at that mindset, too.  Then she told me of something that happened to her recently on a trip to a Walmart.  When she was shopping with her two daughters, she was followed throughout the store by a man who was "witnessing" to her.  She calmly explained that she and her family are Jewish, that she believes that Jesus was a very wise man, but that Jesus isn't her saviour.  Then he said something like, "then you must believe in Original Sin, since it is in the Old Testament."  She replied that, no, she didn't as it wasn't part of their teachings.  She said that she just couldn't shake this man--he just kept trying to "witness" to her. 

What's really creepy to me is that I saw a preview of a special that will be on NBC soon about "bootcamps" where kids are taught how to harrass people who don't believe in their faith.  Is that where this world is headed?  Will there be an outright conflict between Christians and non-believers?  I wonder, too, why it is so important to them.  I guess they really believe that it is their duty.  So much so, with some sects of that faith, that it resembles some other cults that have had some very dangerous outcomes.

(Original Poster)

[MaryJane849]

Dec. 22, 2008 at 2:54 PM

jsbenkert

"bootcamps"

I saw that too, and as a christian, I was like mmmm, not sure about that.

I do not believe the woman meant to be rude, in all beliefs we have our extremes, I believe that there is a time and place to witness to people, I am not sure if that was the right time or place for this woman to ask you about your beliefs, but I do not think she meant any harm.