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One more time...
- Dec 20, 2008 at 11:07 AM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (248) Everyone can see this journal post.
I wasn't sure exactly how to say this. I've been contemplating it for a couple of weeks now-trying to decide how much an internet chat room should really affect me and I've come to several decisions.
I was so honored to be asked to be on the admin team for this group. Even though this is my online life it really made me feel special that I would be considered to help lead such a large, active and positive group. Maybe I don't have enough of a “real” life or maybe it just doesn't take that much to make me feel special. :)
But, this is the internet, and as much as I'd love to think that all of you really care about me, the fact is that while there are some of you who truly care about the person on the other side of the computer screen, there are many, many of you who do not. I have put much more time and effort into something that really doesn't add much to my real life and that's my own fault. I have expected care and appreciation for efforts that were never asked of me in the first place. It's a character flaw really, I love to help and take on responsibility-often it isn't mine to accept.
I love this group. Well, at least I did. Unfortunately, it has become something different and during this time of transition my feelings-my real life feelings-have been hurt. Some of you have gone out of your way to be supportive and for that I am certainly appreciative. However, because I became so attached to the health and well-being of something that isn't even real, when decisions about the group were made without consideration from me or other admins it made me feel very small. I began to feel like Kristen and I were being forced out for speaking up. Well, I know, as they say, when I'm not wanted. I try to be diplomatic and kind, sometimes I fail as all of us often do. However, I think I have succeeded during these past weeks and it has not been easy to keep my trap shut. I am angry and I am hurt and really, nothing online should have that much power over my emotions.
And so, as much as I really hate goodbye threads and melodramatic interweb stunts, I will now add my own version since it's Free For All Weekend. I'll take advantage of the opportunity to have my say, finally, since I've been feeling very stifled for a while now. If for any reason this is deleted, it will be posted on my journal as well. I would like to encourage all of you PM me, add me as a friend or join me in my other groups so that we may continue our online friendships.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be a part of this group and admin team, but it's just not a positive thing for me anymore. I bid you adieu.
Sincerely yours,
Alana
Those of you reading this know what it's about. I'll thank the rest of you to go the fuck away. Reporting my personal journal for deletion is taking this so much farther than necessary. Really? Grow up. I have just as much right to vent my personal feelings as anyone else. I haven't been nasty. I haven't been rude. I just said what I needed to say and let it be that.
Comments:
Deleted? Really?? Amazing.
No, you haven't been rude, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with the first journal you wrote. I'm amazed at how petty some people can be. I'm sorry Alana. I enjoyed being in a group with you, and although we didn't always see eye to eye on everything, you were always respectful to me. I want you to know how much I really appreciate that too. I thought you were a wonderful Admin. I wish you nothing but the best for your life, and hope you have wonderful and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ♥
I'm not amazed.
It's about par for the course around here ;)
You rock Alana. Tell anyone who disagrees to kiss my butt!
Apparantly it's a bigger mess than I thought. I don't know if you ever even got my message from the group, so here it is. I know that we disagreed on almost every subject, but you have always been a wonderful friend and admin. I really came to respect you and care about you as a person. You know I'm always here if you neee me. Love ya girl.
K
You guys are awesome. No worries Kris, I saw your reply ;)
What a freakin' mess huh?
C'est la vie I guess.
But there is an up side to all of this....we don't have to mess with it all anymore!!! Yay!!!
Someone wants your personal journal entry deleted???? How controlling!! I'm so sorry, Alana. Frig'em, I say. Sorry, but that really is going too far. {{{{{{Hugs to you}}}}}}
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I'm sorry people are so petty Alana. You do have every right to vent. (((hugs)))
- emmaleejean
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