I am a spiritual being undergoing a human experience

[amethystrse]

For the longest time I have been wanting to change.  Sometimes I will for a while and then revert back to my old ways.  I self sabatoge and it has to end.

Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life.  I am going to impliment certain changes.  These are for a spiritual reason as well as physical and mental.  Much of it is stuff that I've done before and know I can do again.

Some may say take baby steps but I need to do this all at once.  I need to change.  I know there will be many hurdles to overcome, obstacles in my way, and whatnot.  I expect it.  I hope that I face such things with an open mind and heart and overcome them.

I am going back to being a raw vegan.  I need to.  Cooked food just messes with me too much.  Most meat that I eat was from an animal that was slaughtered and wasn't raised under good conditions.  I no longer wish to take that energy into myself.  I've become so sensitive to it that I am getting sick every time I eat meat.  Also I get indegestion from most cooked foods.  Raw food has always filled me with a sense that it is right.  I feel good after eating raw food in a way I don't feel when eating anythng cooked.  This is a spiritual and physical change for me.

I am going to meditate every day if possible.  This is a spiritual and mental change for me.  I have found in the past that when I meditate on a regular basis then I feel better in my life.  I feel more connected to the Lord and Lady, Father and Mother to us all.  When I meditate I release a lot of stress and anxiety.  I am a kinder and gentler person as a result.  I want to be kinder and gentler, especially towards those I love.

I am going to exercise daily.  Working out makes me feel great.  I once was in great shape.  I have since let myself become overweight and lazy.  That simply will not do.  I know how to exercise in a way that it will not wear me down.  Start simply first and do what I can without hurting myself (I am really out of shape and won't get back into shape overnight).  What is good for the body is good for the mind and soul. 

I am going to practice more gentle dicipline with my children.  I tend to yell too much.  I have spanked on occasion.  Neither of these are good.  They don't teach my children how to behave and do the right thing.  I believe that if I am more gentle with them and teach them what to do then they will be much better for it.  My children are my life and I must do what I can to ensure that their lives are enriched and happy.  I will find new ways to help them and dicipline them.

I will quit smoking.  I have quit before, the longest was for 2 years.  The shortest was for a day.  I don't even enjoy smoking anymore.  My body is screaming for me to stop and I should do so before it's too late.  I have patches to use i I need them.  I know I can break this horrible addiction I have.

I will practice positive mindfulness.  I have found that when I think positively then I become positive.  A person's thoughts can affect them in more ways than one.  I have found in the past that when I think positively then I feel cleaner spiritually, happier mentally, and less stress physically.  This is going to be the hardest since I tend to put myself down a lot.  I will mae a conciious effort not to.  When I catch myself thinking something negative I will repeat certain affirmations in my mind that are filled with positive energy.  Example:  "I can't do this. I am weak"  will become "I CAN do this.  I am STRONGER than I know.

I will walk with my head held high.  I constantly look down when I walk.  I hardly meet people's eyes.  I shy away from people I pass on the street or in the store.  I feel this is because I have poor self image.  I will instead look forward, not down, and hold my head up high.  I will walk with confidence and repeat positive affirmations when I feel that confidence falling apart.

I know this all sounds like a lot.  It is.  But it is what I feel I must do.  I feel as if the Goddess has been trying to get my attention and I've been ignoring her, without meaning to.  I must listen to Diety.  The Goddess has never steered me wrong.  When I do what she tells me to do I do much better.  I believe that what I've written here are things she wants me to do.  There are other things like be more green and whatnot.  But those are things I've already implimented in my life.

In loving light I shall walk.

[jbs_mommy]

Dec. 21, 2008 at 9:29 PM

What an impressive list of changes to commit too!   I like the positive mindset one -- I'm working on that myself!   Wish you luck!!! 

P.S.  I find that wearing certain shoes and outfits (which fit and compliment what I've got!!!!) help me with holding my head up as I too find that (when I'm aware) I look at the ground. walking around.  :-)

[zoie1077]

Dec. 21, 2008 at 9:38 PM

You CAN do it. Hopefully remember to be patient with yourself, and don't judge. One of your commitments is to stay positive, so you must remember this one first and foremost to handle all the other ones. If you stay positive, you wont judge yourself or beat yourself up if you have days that are less than your ideal. If you are feeling the Goddess has been trying to get your attention and wants you to do these things, it will happen. If there is one thing I have noticed from my spiritual journey, it is that those that guide will not be ignored ; )

[silvermyst91]

Dec. 21, 2008 at 9:41 PM

Good for you! I need to do a lot of the things you have listed too. I have a lot of the same issues. I wish you well.  :)

[KiaiMomma]

Dec. 26, 2008 at 4:09 PM

So how is it all going so far?

I am jumping on the bandwagon.. all of these things you have talked about besides smoking come and go in my life.. and I also find I am happier when I keep doing them.. so why do we stray?

Thank you for writing this.. Good Luck!