blahhh

[lylfoxxii]

well as many people know i have been TTC #2 for some time now... well no luck.... for the klast year it really has been just me who has been trying and last month i was so sure was the month.. but nope!!! well n e ways this month i was going to give up but now hubby really wants another!!! like really bad.... and im worried that i cant get preggerz.... im getting really depressed.. i worry that my weight may be causing me to produce to much estrogen which could be preventing me from getting pregnant... but again i am a very paranoide person... well n e ways... my hubby really wants a little girl (if i can get preggerz anytime soon) and im a little worried how he will feel if we dont have one.. i know he will love the baby no matter what but i have been feeling like a failure... i cant do anything... cant even get pregnant which i dont understand becauase i got pregnant by accident with my son he was a pull out baby and when that happened i went to the bathroom and "cleaned" off everything and i still got pregnant again.. and now that i really want to get pregnant i cant... i dont understand... at first i tought it was becasusei was thinking about it way to much so i stopped trying so hard.. stoped charting and everything but nothing... i dont know... maybe this month will be it i hope there is some  christmas magic that will help me concieve!!!!!!! baby dust baby dust baby dust baby dust baby dust!!!!!