Is what you are struggling for and stressing over worth it?

[margaretandem]

It's been a while since I've written and I thought I'd write something given that I'm on Christmas break.  Because of my change in schedule, I haven't been able to keep up with journaling.

At the end of the year, many find themselves musing about how things have been, how they'd like things to be, successes, failures, what they could have done differently, resolutions for the new year, etc.  These are things I think about off and on through the year, but I have been more focused on this given changes in my life.  I went back to school full-time in September to pursue a Nursing degree (both an Associates and a Masters).  The plan is to add a nursing career to my current counseling career.  So, I have heaped on a whole bunch onto my already full plate - single parent, self-employed business owner, counselor/therapist, daughter, sister, family member, friend, and now full-time student.  Needless to say, I have had a lot of time management issues and almost no time for me.  I know that I have cheated my daughter of time together as well.  So, along with all of this come the normal feelings of being overwhelmed, guilt, stress, fatigue, etc.  Not to talk of the normal stress of making any major transitions in your life, of which school is a major transition.  I have done and still do a lot of reflecting about all of this - do I really want to do this, am I making the right choice, will it be worth it in the end, is it worth the price and the sacrifice I'm making now not just for me but for my daughter and the rest of my family, can I really stay in school that long, etc.  There have been lots of doubts along the way.  When I weigh it out, though, it does end up being a good choice with more good than bad points and that is what I have to hold onto no matter how hard it gets, no matter how overwhelmed, no matter guilty or tired or doubtful or stressed I may feel.  I hold onto the fact that this will not last forever and I am doing something that will benefit my daughter, the rest of my family, and myself in the end.  Anything worth having is worth struggling for.  I guess I say all this to say that, sometimes you do go through struggles and doubts and difficulties in working towards your goals and in life in general, but you always have to remember why you are doing what you are doing.  If you are struggling with any situations in your life, ask yourself is the struggle worth it.  Is the difficulty you are facing now going to be worth it in the end?  On the other hand, are you going through struggles and difficulties right now in situations that are a waste of your time or that are completely pointless?  Is what you are in right now and the stress you are going through going to pay off in the end?  Whether it is a relationship, job, friendship, etc., is the stress and struggle you are going through now worth it?  Will there be any good coming out of it?  Or do you need to cut your losses and move onto something better, something worth struggling for?  I have concluded for now, that might struggle is worth it and I continue on.  I know that I can do it and I am hopeful and looking forward to a better future as well as making the most of the present.  Is your struggle worth it?  If not, what are you still doing there?....

Just some thoughts....Let me know what you think.  Happy living!!!!

Margaret Andem, LCSW

http://www.andemtherapy.com

http://www.africanconexion.com

[andreamom]

Jan. 5, 2009 at 10:09 AM

I can relate to your journal post.  I'm constantly stressing out over things that I struggle with.  Some of my struggles are over my relationships with friends and family, my finances, society , my spirtituality, and my health. 

Many of us are apprehensive about the future.  As parents, we are concerned about what the future holds for our children.  In what direction are we headed?  Life is so uncertain.  We try to plan, and set goals for the future because we want to aim towards a positive direction in our lives.

When I stress out over situations in my life, I try to just find a way to escape from my worries, and liberate my mind of these anxieties.  How do I do this?  I take a break from my routines, and from the world.  I escape these things by going for a jog at the gym or in a nature setting, and reading inspiring books in a beach setting.  This is a great therapy for me during stressful times.

I hope that you accomplish all your goals and aspirations in life Margaret.  Our children look up to us as their parents.  Most of us just want to have the peace of mind that we can be the decent parents our children look up to, and depend on.

[margaretandem]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 12:55 PM

Yes, indeed.  Breaks are quite necessary as much as we can do it.  Balance is an everyday job.  Thank you so much for your feedback, Andrea.

Margaret Andem, LCSW

http://www.andemtherapy.com

http://www.africanconexion.com

 

(Original Poster)