I *think* I'm done...

[destinee_115]

Our plan was always to have at LEAST 2 kids..  and if we got 2 boys, or 2 girls (as it happened) we'd try again for that other sex..  and then, just cuz I came from a family of 3 kids, and hated the way we ganged up on each other, I decided, if we had 3, we'd have 4..  just to even things up.

Well, since I've had Ryleigh, that plan is pretty much shot to hell..  1st off, I ended up having to have a semi emergency c-section, which was very much not in my plans.  I went through a pretty low point feeling like a horrible mother because I couldnt even birth my baby "right"..  it wasnt helped by the fact that my poor 3 yr old (then 2) was crushed that mommy couldnt pick her up, and she couldnt climb on me like she used to...recovery kinda sucked.

Fast forward..  I have a 3 yr old girl (who has the freakin attitude of a 16 yr old..  any advice on how to get rid of THAT would be welcome..) and an 8 month old girl (who is a happy, yet extremely busy girl on a permanent crawling, soon to be walking, search & destroy mission.) I have my hands full, and I love them more than anything ...no matter how cranky I get, they really are my world.

My husband still wants another one though..  I think..  after Ryleigh was born, I told him we'd discuss it when she turns 2...  and who knows, by then, maybe I'll be ready for another.. but at this point..  I feel done. We can't afford another one..  I mean, I'm sure we could, but I want my kids to be able to do stuff & have things..  Like Kira's dance classes...  cute clothes..  vacations in the summer (my dream is to take then to Disneyworld, and the beaches of the Outer Banks..  when they're old enough to remember) and our credit card is getting a work out to do those things now. Its material & superficial, but I dont care.. Plus..  I'm happy and content with them..  I hit the jackpot twice now with beautiful smart girls.. I can't be sad about it, because Ryleigh is SO perfect..  but I'm not going to forget the pain and heartbreak of the 3 miscarriages I had after Kira to get her...  or that I'm lucky to have Kira, since I had a rough pregnancy with her (and we're pretty sure that between pg wks 8-12 I lost her twin..  or she reabsorbed it..  not sure) Not to mention, I would almost certainly have to have a repeat c-section..

Like I said, I have over a year before we even discuss the possibility, and Mirena in place up to the next 4 years..  really I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head, cuz quite frankly, its crowded in there..lol..  Thanks for listening.  Comments welcome :)

[sprime]

Dec. 29, 2008 at 1:44 PM

We are in the opposite situation here. My husband demands no more, but with two boys ( and being considerably outnumbered), I would really like to try for that girl.  I did not have a single problem with pregnancy or childbirth for either child.  I am absorbed in our two terrors (1 1/2, 3 1/2) and am not sure if I could handle another. Seeing as our first two were surprises, and I also am sporting the Mirena, it is unlikely to have another surprise anytime soon. Maybe your husband is feeling outnumbered too. He knows how hard it was on you to have the two beauties you now possess, but I am sure if he could carry the next to relieve you of some potential pain, he would. But he can't.  So if he is ever to even the score, he must convince you to do so.  Hey, atleast you can both agree that there is potential for having another. My husband is adamant that there will be no more. We too are financially strapped. I do see his point of view, but he is struggling at seeing mine. Sorry, my mind is also crowded.

[X-rayMomma]

Dec. 29, 2008 at 6:07 PM

I can't wait to have another one.  I think it's more like, I can't wait to have that tiny tiny baby but the realities of having another child get lost in that excitment.....the money thing is an issue here as well.  We are waiting until at least spring to start trying.  We will see where life leads us won't we?  ;)  g'luck!

[mompennington]

Dec. 29, 2008 at 7:16 PM

I hear ya!!! Ive always wanted 3 but my husband came in with one and then we had our first son and I think my husband had decided to stop there although I wasn't with him! So we tried for Jordan, with a miscarriage in between. When I found out Jordan was a boy and before all the bad stuff took place I decided I wanted another one. I couldn't face the fact I would never have a girl but then I got GD and had a horrible c-section and I decided Im good! :) Of course I look at girly stuff and Im sad I will never get to experience that but the "done" feeling out ways that! I cant wait to spend weekends at the lake with my boys or be able to pick up and go to a football game or the movies with them! If I had another one it would be like starting all over, not that Im wishing Jordan to get older but just easier! :)

[MTButterfly04]

Dec. 30, 2008 at 9:28 AM

I know how you feel about having 2 girls. As you know I myself have two little hand fulls. I feel bad because my husband is out numbered but like you money is a problem. I want my girls to have everything I didn't growing up because my mother was a single mom. Not mention my 4 yr old also has the attitude of a 16 yr old. My 1 1/2yr old is getting ready to hit the terrible two's and I am not looking foward to it. I have asked my husband if he wants to try for a boy, but he says we are gonna wait until Lacey is 2 or 3 yrs of age and I have the mirena until 3 1/2yrs. I would really wait and think hard and into the future before you really decide. Good Luck to ya Nikki.

[lvnmygrlz]

Dec. 30, 2008 at 7:29 PM

When you figure out how to fix your daughter attitude let me know, mine needs some adjusting as well...She will be 3 in Feb and I feel my nerves growing thin as well...As far as having 2 girls you know me, I have Madison and then McKayla is 7 months...DH said the other day he wanted to start trying in Jan, I said your nuts, we will discuss it when she is at LEAST 1, even then Its doubtful....He wants a boy to pass on the amily name....