I just want to hug my baby.

[gogetem]

I've spent the past few nights in tears.  I saw something very disturbing happen right before my eyes just days before Christmas.  Life became all too real when my eyes locked on that anonymous body in the street.  I can't get the vision out of my head.  He had hopes of presents for Christmas...was excited about Winter break.... Mom and dad looking forward to starting off a new year with the family...  All gone in a flash.   Too real.  By seeing this, I've gotten too close to truly understanding how fast an innocent life can be taken.  It hurts to imagine getting any closer.  His poor parents.  God, it's just so sad.  Ever since this happened I tell myself to "do better"...  "I can be a better mom..."    "...Do it and do it right".... "you never know what will happen".  Though I tell myself this on a daily basis, at the end of the day, the visions of this child in the street plague my head and I kick myself for not being every bit of an attentive, good mom as I can be.  Before I know it my 2 year old boy will be too big to crawl up in mommy's arms to watch an episode of Sesame Street.  He'll be brushing his teeth on his own... whiping away my kisses... and boarding the bus to spend the day at school with persuasive friends and potential love interests.... and I'm going to have to let him go.

But, for now I don't have to.  There are mother's out there who have had tragedy strike their families... every mother's worst fear.  As I sit here in tears wishing I could just get my baby out of bed and hug him till the sun comes up, I realize not only will these mothers not be able to hug their babies as they sleep in their beds and cribs, but these mothers won't be able to hug their children, see them smile, or see them celebrate their next birthday.... ever... no matter how hard they cry or how much they beg God to give them their baby back.  Do they ever wish they would have spent their time with their babies more wisely as I do??            Thing is, that when those early birds start chirping,  the sun peeks over the horizon to melt the frosted leaves, and the dawn breeze blows...

 I have a brand new chance to do things better. 

It's 2AM.... just hours before the new year.  I've been blessed with the opportunity to wake up with my beautiful baby boy when others may not be as fortunate. 

Tomorrow I will do better.

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[ddmac314]

Dec. 31, 2008 at 7:48 AM Oh gosh, Kat. That's awful!!! It's so scary how quickly life can be taken. :(

[genny_ann]

Dec. 31, 2008 at 11:37 AM

What a good reminder for us all.  Off to go hug my baby!