1. I am going to take on the mentality of a skinny person. I figure if I think like a skinny chick, eventually I'll BE a skinny chick - mind over matter, right?
I have no idea what a skinny chick mentality is, since I've never been a skinny chick, so I'll have to do some research. While I'm researching, I'll duct tape myself to the computer chair to keep myself from heading toward the fridge in search of "research munchies".
I also promise not to send the kids to the fridge for me. I can't promise I won't send the cats, though.
2. Smoking is right out. No more smoking for me after midnight, Central time. Hubby's on the bandwagon with this one, too, and will be flushing the last of the pack with me at the stroke of twelve, ceremoniously.
Then we will do the official patting down of each other for smokes we've hidden on our person. This very well may lead to some nookie, what with all the hands-on-ness and all, which means that at about 12:15, we'll be suffering our first big after-sex smoke craving.
This will lead to accusations of hoarding, each of us accusing the other of having a stash and not sharing, which will lead to us getting crabby, contemplating divorce and going to bed all pissed off.
But we won't be smoking! Hallelujah!
3. I'm going to keep my house clutter-free. And I don't mean sticking boxes of miscellaneous things in closets and pretending they aren't there... I mean truly clutter free.
And if that means that hubby's shoes and socks and underwear and loose change and socks and papers and socks get bagged and tossed, well, he can't say he didn't have fair warning.
He needs new socks, anyway.
So there it is, my official Resolutions list for 2009. Happy New Year's, everyone!
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