A few days ago I posted a journal titled "I brushed my teeth last night".  It was basically a short note about that da's personal battle with depression and recognizing and honoring the teeny tiny achievements that we encounter on a daily basis.

I was..... astounded... by the response that it generated.  I had no idea that it would happen the way that it did.  All I wanted to do was write to get the thoughts out of my head.  Instead, I seemed to touch something in a lot of the other women here in the Cafe. 

I ended up receiving just over 100 responses, but my email box was flooded by PMs from other women, like me, who just needed someone to hear them.  Women who finally found out that they are not alone in this madness.

I have to admit that I was overwhelmed by the response.  I had (and still have) no idea what I should say to some of the ladies that commented or some of the ladies that emailed me.  I had to just shut down the computer for awhile so I could think on it.  I just feel so..... helpless.  Here these women are reaching out~ maybe not to me, but reaching out none-the-less.  I don't know how to help them.  I don't know how to help me.

If you are one of the lovely ladies that wrote to me (either within my journal or via PM) please know that I HEAR YOU!!! I read everything that was sent to me and I FEEL it.  I hear you, I feel you, I hope for you. 

I may not be able to respond to everyone at this point in time, but I AM hearing what you say.  You are welcome to keep writing.  I promise I will read everything I get~ even if I can't respond.

I am humbled by the generosity and bravery that so many of the women have shown because of one unintentional journal post.

Thank you.  Thank you all for sharing yourselves with the rest of us.  Thank you for hearing me.  Thank you for reaching out to those that you are listening to.

You ladies are amazing.

Peace and blessings in love and light.


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Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:51 PM


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Jan. 2, 2009 at 6:20 PM

How awesome are you?  I can't even begin to tell you.  So many times I begin to write about what is going on and either delete it on here or rip it up in my personal journals..................Why is there still such a stigma that it is so hard even to say to yourself just how fucking low you have sunk.   I am very blessed to have you as my friend.  We all have something to teach one another and I can only hope that someday I can give you as much as you have given me over the months that I have been privileged enough to read the things that you post.  I have seen you high and I have seen you low and I have nothing but awe and respect for your fortitude and strength of character.  T, you ROCK.

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Jan. 2, 2009 at 6:42 PM

Wow. Bella, you just made me cry.  Thanks for that ;) 

Seriously.  Thank you.  You made my day.

And, on a side note:  I would love to read what you have to say.  I always wondered why you don't write more.  Or do you and I have missed it during my wallowing?

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Jan. 4, 2009 at 12:47 AM

I agree you are so strong to have even just written about it...I have written so many journals that just before I post, I change my mind and delete them..on so many subjects.

Blessed Be!

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