Been so busy with the holidays...been meaning to note it. Should've written it down, dated & signed it...should have documented it to my memory somehow...the moment came and passed so quickly....yet it remains lodged in my memory, resurfacing here and there like a sad lonely buoy amidst a sea of forgetfulness. This life can be pretty forgetable most of the time, with all the daily crap to do....

   considering the fact that it appears to be such an isolated event so far -I do fear I may forget it. Like when a woman is expecting this wonderful marriage proposal or her boyfriend to say "I love you" for the first time yet when he finally does, there aren't any fireworks.....or maybe it just doesn't happen just the way one wants. Considering all; (The fact that he has not said it once since, or any words for that matter & he never said this word before); I fear I may forget one day. This event itself was wonderful -I would not change it. I guess I thought that if he ever said this word -there would be this outpouring of language from then on, like it would no longer be appropriate to say he is nonverbal....thats what it was like the one time I dreamt of it. Perhaps that is why I fear forgetting. Sometimes the sorrow of want, lack can erase the joy of the precious jewels we do have.

    A couple of Saturdays ago my eight year old son (who has very severe autism and is nonverbal) stood right in front of me as I sat in the rocking chair and very purposefully looked at me, and clearly said "LOVE" to me. Oh, I've never heard that from him before...

   He even pronounce the "V" sound just as I had taught him, all that speech therapy & he never even made the V sound before. It was so clear. So purposeful, there was so much intent....he tried very hard to say it and say it well....the annunciation was perfect. I hope I remember it always....I want to remember it always -without sorrow. I am so proud of him, its so much more difficult for him to speak than it is for me. I could not have asked for any better early Christmas present than that.

Tags: autism, love

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Comments:

FXmomTo3
Jan. 3, 2009 at 8:16 AM

Lee, you will never forget, I promise!    That is exactly how Phillip started talking....one word, then nothing for a couple months, then another word....up to five words....he had a vocabulary of five words that would rotate...he would pick up a new word and lose one of his old ones never to be said again....then one day he said a sixth word without losing one of the five, and a seventh word a few weeks later and within a few months he had a vocabulary of over 50 words....I still remember Phillip's first word....apple!  and his first phrase "see you later" .....you will never forget !

Pilot...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 11:20 PM

Wow Jennifer761 Thats amazing and moving. Thanks for sharing! :)

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