relationship problems... please help!

[monkeymama19]

Let me start off with: My hubby is a great dad. You can tell that just by the way he acts with our daughter.

He, however, is not a great husband. To put it nicely.... He is Peter Pan. No matter what, he refuses to grow up. I thought having a daughter would help..... It didn't. He just won't... and I have no clue what to do about it.

Lttle background: In 2007, I cheated on him. It wasn't a one-night stand. It was a full-blown affair from May through July. I left and stayed with my mom for a month. I came back to him. I was sorry for doing that to him. We decided that the best thing for our relationship was to end it. We began the divorce process. In September, I learned that I was pregnant. The divorce was put on hold. I lived away from him (in Alaska) from November 2007-March 2008. I came back (my family, who I had moved up to Alaska for, was moving to Vegas). Our daughter was born in June. She is the light in our lives.

We have seperate bank accounts because he overdrafts his every chance that he can. He thinks he can get away from it because I have always been there to bail him out. I've had to give him an entire paycheck several times because the balance was sooo far in the negative. We are not a rich family. We should be saving our money so we can get our own place istead of living with his mom for the rest of our natural-born lives. I wish he would understand this. But he doesn't/won't.

I am a self-admitted nympho.... It's just what I am. You think that most guys would love this... Not my husband.... He decides to refuse me and go online to help himself. I agree that a great relationship is not based on physical chemistry, but that is part of it. It angers me because he makes me feel bad for wanting it.  

I've tried talking to him. I've tried SCREAMING at him.  

I just have no idea..... I want out. I love him..... I'm just not in love with him. I know that sounds cliche, but it's the truth. The only reason that I am stll there is because I'm scared that his mom will freak if I leave and make sure that I can never see my daughter again. (that's how psyco she is) I have no problem with joint custody. I have no problem staying in the same area. I think that my hubby and I both deserve to find someone that makes each of us happy.

[mabelsbabygirl]

Jan. 3, 2009 at 6:29 AM

Everyone deserves to be happy, so you do what you think you need to do to be happy but just don't let your decisions have dire consquences on your daughter.

[geminitwiins]

Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:46 AM

why can't you take your daughter with you, and you have full custody? the one thing i have learned in my two failed marriages, NEVER stay for the children. the do and will pick up on the hostility you and your partner have.