I am Confused and not sure what to do, need advice please!

[bellanena1983]

Hey Guys, as you can see i need some advice. Ok so let me start off with whats bothering me. My husband is gang affiliated but doesnt get into trouble. The other day a random person pulled his card because he was rockin beads that ge was reppin for his gang colors. They spoke, exchanged numbers so he can get to know more people in thte same gang. I love my man but i have children to think about. He hasnt gotten any of that out of his system it looks like. Its apart of him i know. But thats not the only thing. He has told me that i make him feel insecure. But i never ever cheated on him. So because of this he doesnt like when i chat, or play xbox live, because he thinks i am going to kick game to another man. But i cant deal with all this look over my shoulder because he dont trust me. He has that i dont give damn about nothing additude. It makes me feel rather unhappy. I feel like i deserve better than that. HE is a good person , but since we have been together we have gone through sooo much poverty because of him and his stupid mistakes. We have been together for 5 years, married for two. I just feel like all this crap is going to keep pooping up no matter what. We argued about it but it seems like if i cant accept him for him and his desicions we shouldnt be together, and he has said it more than once. Am i over reacting or should i just forget it? please tell me what you think.. thanks !!

[gina71402]

Jan. 4, 2009 at 2:25 AM

i think you should give him altimatum. its either the family or your gang life. cuz if anything happens to the kids its all you. its not secure for any of you. no child should ever have to endure a father who is gang affiliated, and you know what i mean cuz you know what they do. may god bless your family and guid you to do what is right

[bellanena1983]

Jan. 4, 2009 at 2:27 AM

Thanks that helps. He knows how i feel about it but i dont think he would be able to choose correctly becaue of his pride. But i assume that. I hope he chooses wisely too. Thanks for your opinion.

(Original Poster)

[roseym]

Jan. 4, 2009 at 2:29 AM

safety is whats best for you and your children, he should be able to see that, and gang affiliation is not safe for you or your child so he needs to grow up and get all that out of his system. I know what you mean I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years, and before I met him he was in jail for 7 years, and he used to drink and do drugs.  when i met him he had been clean and sober thats part of why I married him. And he knows if he ever slips up, and compromises my safety my kids and i are gone! And he is well aware of it.  Almost 5 years later he has still stayed out of trouble!

[bellanena1983]

Jan. 4, 2009 at 2:44 AM

Well thats good for you. But i think he is proiud of it. But i dont agree with it. He is staying out if troubke but i am afraid he might slip. Good luck to you guys keep up the good work.

(Original Poster)

[Magpie75]

Jan. 4, 2009 at 3:12 AM

You and your children will always come second to his gang buddies.  I would be very concerned about my own safety and the safety of my children.  He hasn't gotten into trouble yet, but within time he probably will.