I know no one will "know for sure." (lol), but feel free to guess...

My MIL acts like she doesn't care about our baby. This is our first child, and we thought she'd be excited. Instead, she ignores him. She didn't come to see him until he was almost a month old. She has cancelled almost every scheduled visit, complaining about "health problems," usually we wind up going to see them, instead, and half the time, she cancels then, too. She doesn't spend ANY time with her gradson when she does visit (or we visit her), she is AWAYS in another room. The last visit we had, we stayed about five hours and she was probably in the same room with him for twenty minutes total. She came to his birthday party, but left early, WHILE HE WAS OPENING PRESENTS, saying "Open ours, we have to go." My husband missed our son opening most of his b'day presents on his first birthday to see his parents out (seriously, WTH?). Her dog is viscious, and has attacker HER and several others, but she refuses to keep her dog put away while we visit. The dog jumps on our son, licks him the face, and she does nothing. When my husband calls her, she spends about thirty seconds asking about her grandson, and then moves on to talking about HER. We were looking at the videotape from last Christmas, and while my son was opening the present he got from them, she has her back turned and is watching tv the whole time, she couldn't care less that it's her grandson's first Christmas.

YET, when we were on the phone with her before Thanksgiving, she complained that we "were not being fair to her OR our son" because we have not let him have a spend the weekend (just him) visit with her yet. She doesn't spend any time with him for any of the other visits, why would we think she'd want to have him for the whole weekend? She needs to try to bond with him BEFORE we drop him off like that. BTW, when she came over just a week after this conversation for Thanksgiving, she completely ignored him...again.

What's going on?

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Jan. 5, 2009 at 5:18 PM

Not knowing you or your MIL, I would guess and say perhaps she is having some difficulty adapting to the new role of grandma. Maybe she is afraid to be too overbearing and wants let you tell her what to do. IDK, it is very hard to say. Maybe you could push her into becoming more involved, in a nice way. The next time she visits, make sure you put him in her lap, turn off the tv when you have a family activity you want her attention for, and check with her at the beginning of her arrival so you know how long she is staying. Ask her advice on baby stuff, even if you don't plan to follow her suggestions. Good luck!

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Jan. 7, 2009 at 11:41 AM

my mil is like that to our youngest child. She could honestly care less about her and one day in will bite them in the ass.

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