Dog Diary, Cat Diary

[prmami2b]

DOG DIARY

 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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 CAT DIARY

 Day 983 of my captivity.
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
 They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
 hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
 rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
 keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream
of escape.

 In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

 Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
 feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
 demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
 condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
 placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
 was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.

 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
 tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
 this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

 The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
 seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
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[barby402000]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 3:12 PM

This is so true! Loved it!

[singedwingangel]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 3:20 PM

Rofl have you been watching my cat and dog?? Cause this is pretty much how they behave lol

[Gapeach001]

Mar. 4, 2009 at 7:36 AM

Saw this before and loved it! I have had both and this is so true!