I will have been on Cafe Mom two years as of January 10...

[simplyjaneen]

And these days, I'm really wondering if it is worth it anymore. It's a popularity contest. The journal posts that get noticed are the ones where the poster has a million friends or the post is something that is SO controversal, it ticks people off. Very few people respond to my journal posts. My "friends" don't. Most strangers don't. It's like I'm invisible.

Groups are worse. I have a really hard time finding a place to fit in. And I think I have left more groups than I have stayed in, including groups I own! I don't know. It's not really fun for me anymore. I've sought Cafe Mom for the social aspect as I'm a SAHM with very few friends in real life. In less than two weeks, I'm moving to South Korea where I don't know a SOUL. But I can't depend on this website for a social life. Hardly anyone talks to me. Hardly anyone responds to my messages. Everyone else has a life. I don't. Never have.

It's a situation that I had as a child that has gotten worse as an adult. At least as a kid, I could make SOME friends but the fact of the matter is is that ALL of my friends are friends I have had since either middle school or high school. I really cannot say that I have met anyone here that I would ever really meet in person. Not that there aren't some that I want to meet because there are a few I would love to meet in person but, well, you can only get ignored so many times before you start to think, "why bother".

So, I don't know. I think the fact that I am reaching the two year anniversary on here is a good thing. It gives me a few days to decide just what I want to. And right now, the way things are going, it's a very strong possibility that I'm going to leave Cafe Mom. It's hard to stay and keep at something I don't really get much from. It's hard to stay and put my time and effort into something that really doesn't give me anything back. Why should I spend all of my time trying to find friends on here and not really getting any (and by this, I mean people who actually talk to me and INTERACT with me on a daily basis) when I can maybe put some of those efforts somewhere else.

This, right now, is a HUGE self-esteem killer. I've been told that I'm a good friend, I'm a fun person to be around and that anyone would be thrilled to have me as a friend. Well, then why isn't it happening? Why is it that my ONLY friends are friends I have had for over ten years? Those are the ones who call me. Those are the ones who interact with me. No one else does.

And I won't even get into online blogging, that's just as bad only worse because the people whose posts I leave comments on not only don't respond to any of my journals EVER but also don't even acknowledge the comments I DO leave. It's frustrating. I think the internet has RUINED the ability for adults to make friends. And it's only going to get worse. Eventually, our children are not going to make friends. When you're online, you don't have to give all of yourself to the friend making process. It's all superficial.

So yeah, I've been on Cafe Mom for what will be two years as of January 10th and to be honest, I can't say I have all that much to show for it. It certainly hasn't enriched my life with friends anyway. Maybe it will be for the best. I'll be able to focus on what I need to do in preparation to leave this country and maybe I can find something else to put my focus on. I don't know. I just know that I'm not really getting out of it what I had hoped to get out of it.

[sweetheart4171]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 7:21 PM

completely agree with you....starting to feel the same way about CM myself!!  Good luck

[Blessd2BMommy]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 10:12 PM

I agree too.  I'm sorry you feel that way though!  I'll be thinking about you as you get ready to go overseas.

[wildharvestmoon]

Jan. 6, 2009 at 10:16 PM

I'm sorry you feel that way. If it helps, I really do happen to think you are a good person... and I certainly wish you luck in Korea. That's a huge step for anyone to make.

[stpalmsgirl]

Jan. 7, 2009 at 2:07 AM

I agree with you about CM that's why I am barely on here anymore... I am sorry  it made you feel that way though. I am too a person who doesn't make friends easy which leaves me feeling really weird sometimes, so I somewhat know where you are coming from.. as for friends in real live I only have a hand full of good friends which are  friends that go way back with me and I have a great younger sister who is my best friend.  although I am lonely sometimes I am thankfull for the few people I can call my friends.. I sometimes look at people who have so many friends and they seem like everybody likes them but than when they have a problem none of their many friends is there to help them out, which I can not say about my few friends, if I am in need they will always try to help because they are not just people I call friends, they are real friends. so looking at it that way it sometimes helps me feel better about not being so popular.

 

[mom2hannah30]

Jan. 7, 2009 at 2:37 PM

i agree with you but i dont want you to leave if you decide to please give me your myspace or your email i would like to keep in touch

[jennylynn22003]

Jan. 9, 2009 at 2:18 PM

Thank you for correcting my mistake about Christs birthday on that other journal.  I read your journal here and I am sorry you did not find what you were looking for in CM.  I have been here about 2 or 2 1/2 yrs and enjoy it very much. Feel free to look me up sometime and we can chat. 

[summerdayz]

Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:10 AM

You have to start looking at the positive side and be thankful for the friends you have in your life. There are some people who really do not have any friends at all. They are completely alone.  Try joining some fun groups here and jump in, laugh and have a good time. Good luck to you.

[mamaangie1974]

Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:17 AM

hey im looking for new friends myself. give it another try. i will chat with you