Why?

[sonshinemommy]

Why is it so hard to accept death? Why are we told we should be happy that our loved one is not in pain anymore? If that is true, why is it so hard to accept that and be happy for them? Why is it every other thought is a memory or a thought about "what they will be missing out on" in the future?

My aunt died today. She had a surgery for gastric bypass almost a year ago this month. She has been through sepsis, several strokes, heart attack, learning to walk again, etc. This time, though, her sepsis took her. She fought so hard this year. At times she seemed to be doing so much better and others, not so good at all. She was a very giving person and in my life, almost always, for the past 35 years. She was my mother's best friend from age 10 and then became SIL's by marrying twins. My mother lost her best friend of almost 52 years. My uncle lost his wife of 41 years. They never had children so my brother and I were as close as they got to children. She didn't want a funeral so there will be no burial or funeral. She just wanted to be cremated and brought home. I'm trying to think of how to memorialize her or do something special in her honor. It just seems so left undone w/o having a funeral.

Anyways, I just wish it was that easy. I wish we could celebrate and be happy for the life that was lived and not the other way around. Does that make us selfish? I suppose it's just human nature. I realize that I wonder about what is after life when I lose someone so close to me. Is this normal? I don't know but I really need to find a way to come to terms and build my faith so that I never question it again.

Well, either way...I will miss you and life will not be the same w/o you.

[jennanicole]

Jan. 7, 2009 at 9:13 PM

You are in my thoughts and my prayers tonight. Let the tears roll, if you need to. Just take it one moment, at a time. It takes time for our heads to process how we are feeling. Don't expect too much of yourself, just be. My computer is being dumb. So, I'll msg you later. Get some rest, and put a cool wash cloth on your eyes.

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Sue

 

[denise0711]

Jan. 7, 2009 at 9:15 PM

Maybe try planting a tree in her honor, we did this from a sapling that was once on my Dad's property and moved it to my house for us to watch over the years...It will be 5 yrs this coming Friday January 9th and it really doesnt hurt any less. I even decorate the tree in my front yard for christmas in honor of my Dad loving Christmas so much...It feels kinda nice to be able to do this for him and I know he sees it and appreciates that I do this for him....

[cmarielin]

Jan. 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM

I'm so very sorry to hear this.  No, there's not a thing selfish or wrong with how you're feeling - I think it's really us who miss out when our loved one's go on to be with Christ.  I think it's possible to be happy for them, and also very sad at the same time.  So much love, hugs, and prayers are for you right now.  If you ever need me, I'm here.  (((Big, big hugs)))