A long day with many happy spots

[pockets1968]

I wanted to take a few minutes and post on here as I got back from the viewing for Mandi tonight and the memorial for little Karson. I am so overwhelmed by how many lives she has touched and how many friends and loved ones had come into her short life.

I will miss her so very much and don't know what I will do without her but I am hoping if I can find some answers it will help me be able to deal with not having her with me.

Just wanted to thank everyone again for all the wonderful comments about Mandi and all the kind words for my family.

Thanks

Kim

[grandmomma5]

Jan. 8, 2009 at 7:19 AM

God bless you momma; my heart breaks for you.  I know that the only way I could get thru what is going on in your life is with the arms of God around my shoulders.  I pray that you feel them, now & years to come.  Love, hugs & prayers Sheila

[Sunshine056]

Jan. 8, 2009 at 9:43 AM

I am so sorry for your losses. My prayers are with you and your family. Hugzzz, Maria

[MarciaRu]

Jan. 8, 2009 at 8:06 PM

I AM SO SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, YOUR GRANDSON AND YOUR DAUGHTER GOD HAS MANY REASONS THAT THINGS HAPPEN AND I KNOW THAT THEY ARE HARD FOR US HERE BUT SHE IS NO LONGER SUFFERING AND SHE IS NOW WITH HER SON AND GOD THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU WERE A GOOD MOTHER TO HER WELL SHE WAS HERE AND WE ONLY HAVE OUR CHILDREN ON BORROWED TIME FROM GOD AND I KNOW THAT MANY OF US HAVE NEVER LOST A CHILD WHICH IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN. BUT SHE IS NOW IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN AND SHE IS WELL TAKEN CARE OF. YOU HAVE TO KEEP STRONG FOR YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER AND MORE SO FOR YOURSELF, YOU ARE ALL IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE FROM NOW ON. KEEP UP THE FAITH AND MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND ALL YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR TIME OF SORROWS. GOD BLESS YOU ALL

[Wow2boyz]

Jan. 9, 2009 at 2:49 AM

Sorry for your loss:( I hope that god will give you your answers and help you cope with this terrible loss!

[thebatesfamily]

Jan. 10, 2009 at 12:44 AM

My mother dealt with the loss of my brother and I would love to put you two in touch if you'd ever like that. She wrote alot of poetry and so much else to commemorate his life. If you have an address I will be sure to have her contact you, you can email it to me if you like, when  you have the time if you EVER want to. I plan to release a balloon at the time of death, one for each.

[SimplyCreative]

Jan. 11, 2009 at 12:37 PM

I just lost my mom and I remember coming home the week before and just praying so hard for a miracle.  I remember seeing the confusion in her eyes, but I didn't want to accept that God would take her from me.  I wasn't strong to deal with her loss, because she was my everything.  We went shopping together, we joked around together, we talked everyday, and there wasn't a moment that didn't go by that I didn't tell her how much I loved her. 

I wish for a time machine and erase all this, but I can't. It's only been a couple of months, and sometimes I hear the phone ring and somehow I expect to hear her voice saying surprise, I tricked you, because she was good at playing jokes.  I remember seeing her at the viewing and saying to her, please mom tell me this is a joke.  I wanted so much in my heart for her to tell me it was a joke, but it isn't.

I guess what makes my days get better is my kids and sharing all those wonderful moments I shared with her with them.   The first couple of days I was in a daze and I couldn't accept it.  I cried, I screamed, and I just couldn't get myself moving, but my then my kids started to ask me about my childhood and I saw in their eyes that they needed me.   I can't say it gets better, because I have what I call "mommy moments" where I break down and cry, but I try to keep myself busy so my mind isn't always thinking.  I had a hard time looking at her pictures at first, but now that I am working on a scrapbook of all her memories it has helped me alot.  I didn't keep much of her things.  I just let everyone in the family take her things except her pictures.  I wanted to remember the way she was before she died, and I didn't want to hold on to things that would always remind me of her.  So, I just let everyone come and take what they wanted and what they didn't want I donated.

Take it one day at a time and think of her as a beauiful angel watching over  you.