So Sad but still here

[pockets1968]

Hello everyone that has read and sent prayers and thoughts my way. I thought I would come on here and let everyone know that I am ok very sad and angry but I am ok. I feel I have lost so much in my life before I lost both Mandi and Karson but yet God felt he needed to take a few more important people from my life. I will say I do not understand and I am very angry that he took these 2 people from my life.  But than I think at the life she might have had because of the relationship she was in and the abuse she suffered and I think maybe this was God's way of protecting them both from the one that abused her.  I tried to get her away from him but she loved him is what she would say. I never understood that either as there seems to be so many things in my life I do not understand.

Right now I am just so sad my heart is broken and I am not sure it will ever mend but I must go on as I know that is what Mandy would want but it is hard. Everyone has told me that you are not suppose to have to bury your child and they are right but it does not bring her back. Everyone says they are sorry and I know they are but yet it can not bring her back. I miss them both and I know I always will and I am glad for the time we had together to heal old wound and be friends again as I will never get that time back again. If only I could have her back I would give anything but I know that she is safe and with her beautiful boy Karson as he was so precious and Grandma so wanted to keep him here too.

I thought that maybe while I get to work on the foundation that everyone might want to read some of the wonderful things that people had to say about Mandy at her funeral so I thought I would post them on here for all to read. I will post them in their own journal page.

Thanks to all who keep checking on me I will be fine once I figure out how to go on without them both.

Kim

[mom2AJandDamien]

Jan. 11, 2009 at 12:04 PM

You and your family continue to be in my prayers

[CharmedOne8659]

Jan. 11, 2009 at 3:03 PM

please go to my website and see what i have done for Mandi and Karson

www.thefundraisingplace.webs.com     just look at the dedication page and the disease info page . I think about you EVERY day and there are now words to make it better but i hope what i did for them will help others.. Elaine

[dia4]

Jan. 12, 2009 at 1:32 AM

I think of you, Mandi and Karson every day. I so wish there was something I could say to help your pain but I know there is not. I just hope you and your daughter get thru this and can heal. I continue to pray for you.

Dia