Did you ever have that one moment that you felt like all your hard work paid off in the mothering department? (Yes, I know it only lasts 2.2 seconds, but what a couple of seconds.) I just had one of those. My daughter has had a very hard 13 months. It seemed as though we would start on an upswing and suddenly everything just came crashing down again for all of us. It was all encompassing. School, friends, family. I have been alternately so angry I wanted to kill her( if she would only listen to me, her life would be perfect, right?) and so afraid that I would lose her to this endless blackness. I did the only thing I could do. I hung on for all I was worth and kept trying to show her the path back even when I was not sure of my own way. I am (cautiously) optimistic. She is working, doing much better in school and seems to have left the "friends" that brought nothing but drama to her life (like she didn't bring enough of that to her own) behind. I just know that I am not waking up every morning with a knot in my stomach and I have seen more and more of the person she used to be emerging. Maybe slightly dinged around the edges, but relatively whole again! I will continue to be vigilant, but for this small moment, I am rejoicing in the normalness of life.