How much to expect of a 3 year old?

[lvnmommyhood]

My two year old who is only 3 months shy of turning 3 and really has the developmental skills of a 3 year old, is really testing us recently.  I'm not sure if this is what you would call the terrible twos or the horrendous threes.  Anyways, she is starting to get into a phase where she is sassing us and talking back.  She is also ignoring us when we make requests of her.  I am often confused in how to deal with this.  I will not put up with sassing and talking back and it will mean consequences and no tolerance on my part.  However, when it comes to listening skills I don't know where to stand.  How  much can I expect of a two year old, almost 3 year old?  I probably error on the too firm side while my husband errors on the not firm enough side.

When I ask her to do something like pick up her toys, how many times should I have to ask her before I get a response?  In other words is it three strikes your out, time out that is?  Sometimes she starts to do what I ask and then 5 minutes later I catch her doing something other than what I told her to do.  Should I then administer a consequence?  This is what I have been prone to doing because I have feared that not doing so would be sending the message that this behavior is acceptable.  However, it seems we spend half our nights in time out so I'm beginning to think that this is not effective.  My husband says I need to give her the benefit of the doubt and continue to remind her what it is she should be doing.  I don't want to be a nag.  There has to be something in the middle that would be a good compromise. 

Perhaps when she picks up her toys she is getting distracted, because that is what 2-3  year olds do and I should take that into consideration and not jump all over her and instead give her those gentle reminders as my husband does.  I just fear that she'll start to tune me out and not take me seriously if I'm constantly repeating myself.  So....I guess my real question is, how many times should you have to repeat yourself with a child of this age?  I'm dumbfounded. 

[evilabbysmom]

Jan. 13, 2009 at 3:50 AM

I really have no idea, lol. I have a three year old and she is the exact same way! I think it is just the age. My friend always swore the 3 was waaayyyyy worse than 2. I believe her! Once my little one hit 3 (in Oct) she was like a different kid. I am just hoping that it's a phase that passes!

[Kellyjude1]

Jan. 13, 2009 at 7:45 AM

I have a 3 year old and basically he is doing the same thing as your child...lol.  Now my son will be 4 in April.  I do notice that with my mom who is his caregiver while I work he refuses to pick up his toys for her.  However, when I come to pick him up he will pick up his toys for me.  I really believe he knows exaclty what he can and cannot get away with.  I try not to pick up all of his toys, I will help him but he has to be willing to help also.  I also make sure I give plenty of praise when he helps pick up the toys.