If you're also a second (or third) wife, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm still dealing with the trash talk of my husband's ex wife. Every so often there is a new rumor. I'm a drug addict, I'm pregnant, I'm a whore, I'm a bad mom, and so on. I know it shouldn't hurt my feelings, but it does. I understand being a little bitter about a divorce, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I just overheard (thanks to Myspace) that it was "pathetic" for my husband to take me to the same places that he took his ex wife. So does that mean we have to completely change all of the places that we go because she has been there too?? That's stupid and childish. And not only do we have to deal with her, we have to deal with all of her friends too. Because of the divorce, what used to be their friends are now hers. Because my husband chose to change his life for the better, ie, stop going to the bars, parties, etc., he is being put down. Seems backwards to me. I don't expect her to celebrate our happiness. I do, however wish she would act like an adult. She even went so far as to break into our house and write on our car! (There's more, but I won't go into any more details.)

My ex husband likes Ricky. In fact, I get along well with Ricky's first wife, the kids' mom, and her husband. I don't want to get along with his ex. I just want her to leave us alone. It's hard enough being the new girl and blending a family.

Add A Comment


Jun. 25, 2009 at 4:16 PM

This might be a bit late, but I know exactly what you mean.  I am living with a man who left his wife to be with me, and she has called me names, falsely represented me and my motives, she complains if she calls him and can hear me cooking in the background - like I'm going to stop cooking for her benefit!  and what you said about places they used to go....exactly the same for me.

The thing that makes me the most angry is that she has managed to persuade their children and others that it is a direct attack on her if they see us together or have anything to do with me.  This means that they have heard what she says about me and have no other input - they don't see how I walk into a room, what my handbag is like or how I drink my coffee.  I don't want to give them a long lecture about what I'm really like but I do want them to be able to see and make their own judgements.  This is denied me.  Now, of course, everything I do is judged against a background of me being a whore, me having bewitched him, me wanting to barge in on their family etc etc etc

The woman is still unable to reconcile herself to what has happened - to his disgust, a few days ago she sent him a phone text signed off "Cuddles" !  and until she finally faces up to the fact that she is as much to blame as him, this is going to carry on.  I just have to wait for the rest of the family to get fed up with her - there are tiny tiny signs that this is happening...

Message Friend Invite

Mar. 2, 2012 at 8:52 AM

This hits home. u.u

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in