Post-Adoption Support - when the agency doesn't have the capacity to meet your ongoing needs

[PortAngeles1969]

Conservative estimates indicate that as many as 1 out of every 8 Americans has been impacted in some way by adoption. 

There are at least 6 million adopted men, women, and children in the U.S. They all have biological parents, many still alive (let's estimate 10 million people). And many have adoptive parents who are still living. (Let's estimate 9 million adoptive parents, since they're generally older than birthparents.). Many adopted children and adults also have siblings by birth or adoption: add another half million or so. Not counting grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, adoption directly affects 25.5 million people.

(Adamec, C, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption, 1998).

This figure is more than 10 years old and doesn't even include the numbers of spouses, significant others, children, or friends of those 25.5 million.  Trust me, my husband feels very strongly that he has been impacted by adoption as he is married to an adoptee!!!  

 

Post-Adoption Coaching 

 

Whether you are a member of the adoption triad (an adoptee, birth parent, or adoptive parent) or a person who loves a triad member, the journey of your relationship with adoption can be challenging to navigate at times. Often times members of the adoption triad find themselves in a place where they are needing a compassionate and objective ally to be the best they can be on their journey.

 

There seems to be a multitude of support and services available prior to adoption but very little after an adoption is finalized. Many times triad members seeking post-adoption support are referred to clinical counseling when in fact there are no clinical dysfunctions or emotional distubances present. While there is a time and place for clinical counseling, often times coaching is a better method of support for triad members.

 

Coaching is a professional service providing clients with feedback, insights, and guidance from an outside vantage point. Coaching is an on-going collaborative partnership built on taking action. In this powerful alliance, clients find themselves:

• Doing more than they would on their own
• Taking themselves more seriously
• Creating momentum and consistency
• Taking more effective and more focused actions
• Becoming more balanced and fulfilled

 

It is NOT enough to simply have a personal experience of adoption, or to have the head knowledge and skills of life coaching to be most effective in working with individuals who wish to achieve post-adoption goals and greater balance in their lives.   In our opinion, coaches who have BOTH the personal experience and professional background in child and family well-being are best equipped to succeed in this role. 

 

Attributes of successful coaches include:

• Having a strong sense of self, value themselves intrinsically, are confident and show up authentically
• Willing to evolve and develop themselves
• Listening at the deepest levels, knowing how to filter out their emotions, juedgements and conclusions
• Genuinely curious about other people, having a healthy sense of humor and humility
• Living from high personal integrity, are walking their talk, telling the truth, and how how to get their own needs met
• Being open to (not attached to the outcome), making themselves blank for the client's agenda and solutions to emerge
• Being financially stable, thinking and acting like an entrepreneur and business owner
• Living a balanced life, having a strong support system for themselves
• Having good boundaries, knowing that the client knows what is best for them
• Intuitiveness, courageousness, creativeness, and willingness to take the chance of being wrong

Interested in learning more?  Check out www.postadoptioncoach.com for more information! 

[WISCONSON3]

Jan. 16, 2009 at 6:16 PM

thought provoking!!mlou

[kaedrasgma]

Jan. 17, 2009 at 11:56 PM

I never thought about this, but this is soo right!!!!  It's after the goal is achieved that the reality sets in and we as members of the triad have to deal with what we have found. Often it isn't what we expected and we need someone to help us sort through our emotions.  What better than to be able to talk to a person that has experienced what you are experiencing and can also be objective. I don't know if I could have dealt with everything without the friends that I have met through the adoption groups....especially you.  Thanks,

Chris