My Weight Story

[motherof14]

Ladies,

 I hope you don't mind if I share a few of my blog posts with you. I am going to copy and paste them for you, so you don't have to go to my blog to find them. Somehow there may be something there you are looking for- maybe not the diet itself, but something. Hope you don't mind me sharing this. Hugs, Barbara

My Weight Story
January 12th, 2009
Part 1

We have made some major changes around here. We also have gone on a raw food diet. We are eating what is called “High Raw” right now, which means 85% of our food is raw. We are still eating cooked meat, but only once a day and in MUCH smaller amounts. We are also eating small bits of bread. ( more on that in a minute)

I am so tired of being fat. All my life I have yoyo’d up and down, up and down. I have gone on every diet there is. Most do not last long- or work. Some have, but then I fall back into my old eating patterns. I get so tired of eating different things than everyone else in my house. I get tired of feeling like I am left out. I get tired of making two meals- one for me and one for everyone else. I am tired of feeling bad.

The change happened for me on Thanksgiving. I went to bed feeling bad after eating that food. My back hurt all night. I was fat and miserable.

So I started web surfing. I kept coming back to Raw food. Each site I looked at- even the business ones, kept bringing up raw food links. It got beyond weird. So I began reading those sites. I began searching. I liked what I read. It just felt right to me.

You see I have always been told to eat —–. and I did. I was always told my weight was a willpower issue. I would try portion control and was hungry all the time. I always thought about food- what I can’t have. How much to eat. Blah, blah, blah. The people ( on TV, in mag and in person) who said it was a willpower issue claimed they were not hungry. The claimed if I stayed on it my intense hunger would go away. Well I stayed on some of those diets for over a year at a time…and was hungry every moment of every day.

Remember a while back we were talking about the “release” the weight idea? The lady came on here and said she would eat a few bites and be satisfied? I thought BULL. Not that she was lying, but that I NEVER could eat a few bites of ANYTHING and be full. I had intense food cravings ALL MY LIFE.

I decided to try the raw food. I did not mention it. I just provided enough salad, raw veggies in our normal meal that I could do it without anyone noticing. After a few days I felt so good!After a few weeks, Hubby noticed a change in me, and asked what was up. So I showed him all the things I had found out. He wanted to try it too.

I figured the kids would balk. Interestingly, Eric got a book for Christmas that talked out all the awful things in our diets.( Just a weird fact kinda book) My kids read it in horror! So when I brought it up they all wanted to join in.

This is the third week for all of us as a family. We are learning. We are trying recipes and having lots of fun with it. All the kids love the food! Things they would never eat cooked, they love raw!

It takes some work to get enough protein raw, so we are still eating meat at this point, but not much.

We are also eating a small piece of homemade bread with lunch and dinner. We dip it in olive oil and spices. That is supposed to cut your appetite and provide good heart healthy fats.

Tim , Freeman, Eric, Kortney and I have all lost weight already. Our clothing is looser too. All the rest of the kids are at their correct weight already and are staying there.

We are all exercising together.

I am- for the first time in my whole life- not hungry. I really do not have any cravings at all. I think that all my life my body has been begging for nutrition. I was feeding it wrong. It did the only thing it could do- try to get me to eat more. Now I am eating good, nutrient rich food and the cravings are gone. It feels right. Finally.

This is getting really long, so let me post it and come back. Hugs, Barbara

My Weight - part 2
January 13th, 2009
Part 2

I am not trying to say that you all need to go on a raw food diet. Here is what I am trying to say though. We need to actually listen to our bodies, and figure out what the problem is.

If you eat XY &Z in normal amounts, yet are still hungry and fat- maybe XY &Z is not really right for you. Maybe your body is crying out for something else- not just bigger servings of the same. If you cut portion and cut portions and still stay heavy- maybe it is the actual food that is wrong for you.

Now, I also think there is an emotional aspect to our weight. Not that our emotions are WHY we are fat, but they can play a part in why we DON’T CHANGE what we are doing.

I have issues that helped keep me fat. I now realize that I do. Those things made it easy for me to quit dieting really fast. My mind was waging it’s war on my body too. I carry most of my weight in my belly. All the studies say that is were you store fat if you are stressed. I never believed that, but now that food is no longer the issue, I see how that was true in many ways for me.

It was not that my life was stressful- it was that I held things in. I took responsibility for things that were not my doing- for many, many years. I took those emotions and buried them deeply- in layers of fat.

One place I was reading said not to go on a raw food diet unless you want to deal with your old issues- because as your body loses it’s focus on food, those things will come to the surface. I have found it to be true. I can now see where I would hold stress in and try to still the waters- so to speak.

I am not talking about spiritual things here. My relationship with God has been open and close for a long time. It was my relationship to ME that was out of focus. I am learning I need to be more in tune with my inner feelings, instead of just telling myself to keep on going.

I will try to give you an example. A couple of weeks ago Tim said he wanted to go play tennis. We had lunch and we had some things that had to be done. Instead of helping get them done- he took a three hour nap. That left me to get it done with the kids. Ok, he works hard and long hours- I get it. BUT, when he woke up he wanted to go play tennis. That would get us home at 5pm or later. Supper would be not done when we got home- since I would be off playing tennis.

In the past I would have worried the whole time we were gone how in the world I was going to get supper on the table at a decent time. When we got home, I would have stessed the whole time I was cooking. Not said anything- inside. I would carry that emotional burden- of MY OWN MAKING.

This time I just said- Ok, you slept during the tennis time. If you want to go now, dinner will be at least an hour late. Tim said ok- which i knew he would. But I took it farther. That means you can not come in while I am cooking and start snacking. Ouch.

THAT is where the stress would hit me before. I would be rushing to cook and he would start eating junk. Then all the kids would want to snack. I would have 10 people in there snacking while I tried to cook- and then the meal would not get eaten well anyway. If I didn’t cook, the snack would not hold them all evening and they would keep snacking. It was loose loose for me. AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I tried to be perfect in a situation I did not cause.

Do you see it? It was not ME who got a 3 hour nap. But it was ME who would stress over the messed up meal and meal time. I was taking the responsibility for a problem I did not cause.

So this time we did play tennis. Supper was late. No one snacked. No one complained.

I finally got it. I don’t need this belly fat anymore. If you want it, I will mail it to you! LOL!!

If weight is an issue for you, don’t give up. Find out what you need to do and do it. You are worth it. Don’t keep feeling bad about yourself. You are not weak willed if you are heavy. You are wonderfully made. Find out what fuel you need and eat that. Find out what emotions you might have been feeding and shine a big old bright light on them.

You may have many. I have found I did. I am amazed at the things I now see. Love ya. Hugs, Barbara

My Weight- Part 3
January 14th, 2009
Now, let me also say I DO NOT think eating meat is morally wrong. Jesus ate meat. I am still eating some- though personally am trying to get to the point I don’t. I have two reasons. First, meat is a colorie dense food. I was raised eating it, and lots of it. It is a problem for ME. It really does not make me feel very good- I have found. The other reason is the way meat is raised in this country. We give our animals hormones to make them grow- and that is in our meat. We feed them things I don’t really want to even talk about. It makes me feel that it just can not be good. Mad cow disease is an example. We basically caused that by feeding cows waste. We also pen them in ways that I really can’t condone. Not all, but a lot of meat is raised that way. I cannot afford organic meat.

I can learn to get protein another way- and so for me, I think it is best. Those fresh veggies make me feel a way meat never did- inside.

After a big old steak- I want a nap. After a big fresh plate of veggies I want to get on the treadmill for an hour. I think the treadmill is better for me- so I am going to eat the veggies.

I know diet can be a touchy subject. I had thought I would not mention it, but that is silly. We are adults. You can read and pick your own path- just as I have picked mine. If you struggle in the same way I did, this might be the thing for you- so I am sharing. If your needs are different and you have found a way of eating that gets your weight where you want it, great! Share it! Someone else here might need that path. Hugs, Barbara

PS-I just made raw brownies for dessert tonight. Man are they good! LOL!!