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Sorry so silent I am doing ok
- Jan 18, 2009 at 1:08 AM
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- Comments (16) Total Views (441) Everyone can see this journal post.
Well I thought I should update everyone as I have not been able to write many people back.
I am doing ok I have just been really busy trying to straighten things up and figure out what I am doing. I am trying to get the website started so that I can get into on it about ppcm and get the word out as fast as I can but everything takes time. I should have it up and running soon and I am planning on putting a questionaire on it so that maybe we can find something that causes this disease. There has to be something that causes it and I will find it if they don't want to start research or do anything to figure it out in the US I will find it somehow as there has to be a reason.
I still have her 3 cats to find homes for as I am waiting to hear from a few people and in the meantime I am packing up things so that I can get her stuff moved. I have found things that she wrote before she died that have upset me very much but I know no one is prefect. I just don't understand why she would stay with someone who treated her the way this guy did. It hurts my heart to think that she could not break ties with him no matter what he did to her or how badly he hurt her. I guess this will be the hardest thing for me to live with is the abuse she suffered to have the one she thought she loved and what he did to her in return for that love. You always try and protect your children and when you can not you are left with where did I go wrong. My feeling is God did what he thought best to protect her and Karson, they have no more pain and can only be happy and have love where they are now. This is the only thing that gives me peace now knowing she is safe and happy with Kasron.
Well I have been rabbling and I will write another post either tonight or maybe tomorrow about the whole story about what happened to her from December 14th to january 2nd as I am sure it will help everyone know the whole story and it will help me heal to share my grandson and my daughter with everyone.
I will always miss them and I will always love them and I wish I could have spent more time with them but appraently my life has other plans for now.
Thanks everyone for checking on me
Kim
Comments:
You are a very strong woman. I am still sending you and your family my thoughts and prayers!!
you are still in my prayers.
You continue to be in my prayers
Kim, your journal post are very touching. I know that it is some difficult times, because not only did you lose your grandson, but you lost your daughter as well.
As mothers we want the best for our kids. Often we think that the person we choose for a life mate is suppose to be our night and shining knight, but that doesn't always last. I know that my mom was very hurt that I stayed with my ex for as long as I did. Back then it was very difficult to see our understand that love is not suppose to hurt. I thought it was quite normal and I tried everything in my power to not break my new family. I would only tell my mom portions of our troubles and she figured out the rest not to mention she worked in the same place, so she saw all his infidelities. Back then I thought my mom didn't want me to be happy. I didn't want to hear from my mom that the man I chose to raise a family was a monster. I wanted to believe in my heart that my life was a fairytale life full of love.
Now that I she is no longer with me, I see what she was doing she was protecting me from that monster. She was in so much pain, because she wanted the best for me. Back thenI thought it was my decision to determine if he was Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong. I didn't want my mom to judge him and I didn't want her to tell me he was wrong for me. Now that she is gone I would give anything in the world to turn back the time and change all that.
I never got the chance to tell her that I was thankful for her support and her protection. She saw me through some difficult times and she never got a thank you from me or that she was right and I was wrong. We will never know what was on their minds, but I can see how as a mom you wanted to protect her from that man. I know that you are in so much pain, but time will heal the pain. Perhaps you should consider helping other young mommies that are struggling with an abusive man. Share your story with other young women that is throwing their lives away with a man that is so abusive. I think that will help heal some of your pain and perhaps help others see their lives from a different perspective.
Anyway, thanks for your updates and great posts.
Hi, I am still thinking about you but if you or ANYONE wants to see what i have done for Mandi and Karson AND PPCM please go look at my site. www.thefundraisingplace.webs.com i hope i have done right by them and you. you will always be in my prayers Elaine
YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN MY THOUGHTS & PRAYERS. PLEASE, CONTINUE TO FIND YOUR STRENGHT IN GOD, HE PLACES SUCH GREAT PEACE IN OUR HEARTS IN OUR GREATEST TIME OF NEED, ONLY KNOWN BY HIM! WE CAN ALWAYS TO TO BE THE BEST MOMA'S IN THE WORLD & RAISE OUR BABIES TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN COME TO US WITH ANYTHING, NO MATTER HOW GOOD OR HOW BAD IT COULD BE, THERE IS ALWAYS, I FEEL,, A VERY SERIOUS SECRET THAT THEY HOLD BACK, SO WE WANT WORRY FOR THEM. YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS,, YOUR ARE A GREAT MOM, NEVER DOUDT THAT! IN GOD'S LOVE ALWAYS,,Kelly
You are a great mom and a great woman.
I am only just now reading what you've been through with your daughter and grandson. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know words are completely inadequate, but prayers are ALWAYS heard, and I pray that you will be able to find comfort and solace eventually. At least they are together, although I know it must be terrible for you to miss them both. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
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Still sending prayers up for you
- mabelsbabygirl
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