My Nightmare....my life.

[Lanie_momofone]

It seems that you can go through life as though its all a dream, hoping that one day you will just wake up and the nightmare all be over, but you never really do wake up from it do you? There is just one nightmare after another, at least thats what its like in my world. Every time i turn around , and trust someone..they seem to do something to take my trust and stomp it till its little molacules of dust bunnies. But then i have that one person, whom i love and whom i want to spend my life with ..but not really too sure why...he never actually really defends me to these people, and just tells me that i dont let anything go. Well hmmm lets see, one person was only my friend to try to seduce him, the other only talked to me when she needed something , hmmm ...the last one was his family putting my daughter in danger by telling my abusive mother where she goes to school, and then his family not thinking its a big deal just because "nothing has happend" as far as im concerned we got lucky that nothing happend. But...just after two weeks of this happening, im supposed to let go of the anger , hurt and feeling of betrayalment by the people that i/we were supposed to trust, and they dont even think they did anything wrong! which makes it even harder. Im supposed to just stop getting mad when someone uses me, or treats me like crap.

No..what he is really saying is im supposed to change, so its easier on HIM..not so its easier on me, but so that he can live his life and not feel guilty about backing me up on his family doing this and his friends treating me like crap and what not.

My self esteem is shaddered, my worhness of myself is no longer there, heck i dont even know why i get out of bed anymore and bother to actually get dressed, or try to make friends.

He gets aggravated at me cause im always on the comp, but what else am i supposed to do? I come on here to laugh, and have conversations and i dont have to worry about getting stabbed in the back or told that im not good enough. And its not even him, its everyone..no one i know is someone that i can actually call my friend.

 

 

[busymom03856]

Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:58 AM

lanie i am sorry that u are going thru a hard time. i wish that I had some advise for u

[livewell]

Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:45 AM

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering with this. I am going to send you a PM, and I want to stress something to you.....THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS

[mylovex0306]

Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:53 AM

Lanie all I can offer you is hugs and prayers. I am sorry that people are making you feel this way. It's not fair to you. Everyone deserves happiness in their life. ******HUGS******

[PLATINUM_BEAUTY]

Nov. 19, 2009 at 8:07 PM

Awww, that is just TERRIBLE!