I'm More than just a Mom

[Jen528]

Yes, I am a Mom first and always will be.  I do my best to ensure my children are growing up in a safe environment, that they are learning life's lessons and that they know that I love them with all my heart and will always be here for them and I take pride in my mothering skills.  What I have realized lately, though, is that we are stuck in our own little "comfort" zone.  Everyone knows that Mom will be there, the house will be cleaned, the laundry done, supper on the table every night and that I will drop whatever I am doing to give them the attention they desire.  My husband is just as bad.  I am not saying that they are willing taking me for granted - it just happens.  Sometimes as Moms we are too good.  We put everyone else's needs in front of ours and then we get stuck.

Well, I think it is about time to shake them up a little bit.  Let them see that there is more to Mom then meets the eye.  Oh, and to top it all off, I can do this and still keep up my "Mother of the Year" award (no, I don't actually have one, but it's nice to pretend, right?).  You see, I am multi-talented, they just don't know it yet.  The only reason why I haven't shown them my true ability so far is because my older two children and I had a rough couple of years prior to me meeting my husband.  I wanted to give them the safe, stable happy home life they needed.  I wanted to be consistent so that they would never have to doubt my intentions.  They already lost their biological father due to his own actions and I wanted them to know that they were my main priority and I would never do anything to hurt them.  They were fragile, but that was in the past and now we are all a lot stronger.  They don't need me as much and it is time to break free and take a little time to myself. Just small pieces at a time, they won't even miss me I guarantee you.  No, I'm not talking about physically leaving the room or the house.  I'm talking about making them realize that at times I may need them to respect my decision not to drop everything for them all the time.  Mom may be busy for a few minutes or an hour and don't take it personally, but whatever she is doing will in turn better our finances or help someone in need or allow he to budget in some extra fun time to do as a family.

Last year, I started working from home part-time.  It is my own business, so yes, I get to set my own hours.  I make enough extra money to allow us extra entertainment on occasion or cover the extra doctor bills when my husband doesn't get all the expected over-time hours.  I have a huge desire to make this business into more than what I have.  I long for a chance to show myself and my children that not only can I bring home extra income, I can become a better person and help out those in need.  I know I can do it.  The only thing that seems to be holding me back are my kids and husband and don't get me wrong, they are not doing it on purpose.  I set it all up when I became their rock for all of them to lean on.  If I do something different, the rock will shift and they may not be able to use it for support as often.  In some ways, I think the thought scares me more than them.  But, I have made the decision.  Some day in the distant future, my kids will grow up and leave our beautiful nest.  I think it is about time to show them that they can stand on their own two feet once in awhile.  They will survive if Mom is not right by their side all the time.  We show them respect and teach them the concept of respecting others on a daily basis, but yet, I feel they don't show me the respect when I need it.  It is time for a family discussion.  They may not like what I have to say, but over time they will realize that I am not only benefiting myself, I am helping our family grow.

They may see only Mom, but won't they be suprised to realize I am also a good wife, a great friend, a shoulder to cry on, a comedian, an entrepeneur, a classy lady, a volunteer, a contributor to society, an upstanding citizen, a regulator, a buddy and much, much more that will emerge as I take on new adventures.

They need to realize that I am not just a Mom - I AM ME!

 

 

[HappyWifeNmom]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 12:32 PM

Do it girl! We as moms do put everyone else first, its about time someone put it in writing lol

[midwestmama579]

Jan. 29, 2009 at 1:53 PM

Love your post! We do set ourselves up (unintentionally), and then when it has to change, look out! I've been going through a similar situation with my own family - let me know how your discussion goes.