shruggingI have been through a terrible couple of months - well 16 years but the last couple of months have been complete HELL.  I finally gained enough courage to ask my husband to leave.  He was surprisingly cooperative - I should have known then.  He is a Tatto Artist and he owns his own shop.  Cash business.  He never claimed what he made.  He never came home at night.  He never contributed to the family budget.  He lived a separate life.  I on the the other hand worked every day.  Spent my money to support him and the kids.  He alienated me from my friends and my family.  He is a hateful and extremely predjudiced man.  He was a drug abused years ago and I believed that he was no longer involved with the drug world any longer....I know, my lawyer keeps telling me that I will get no sympothy because I picked him!  My mother did the same.  My father was a typcial "bad boy" with a drinking problem.  I did so much for myself by getting an education, a career, a nice house, beautiful children and a savings account.  I did it all with this heavy load called "my husband" weighing me down.  He put a wall up every time I tried to better myself but I broke thru every time.  Until now.  He led me to believe that he was packing.  He was getting ready to leave but he was really hiding his assets and plotting against me.  He figured out how to use the system, my children and his parents to get his revenge.  He filed for divorce claiming cruel and unusual treatment.  He tells everyone that I abandoned him and the children and he even used incidents of abuse that he used on me over the years making himself looking life the victim.  When I was  lost it.  I pulled his hair and hit him on top of his head with open hands.  I freaked out finally after all of these years.  My children were threatened and I turned in to a mother bear!  He convinced me to leave to retrieve my children.  They were not where he said that they would be.  When I returned I saw that his eye was blood shot and bruised.  I knew that I was being set up - I never hit his face.  I went to call the police when the sheriff rolled up.  My husband showed him a video of the attack and had me arrested.  It has been almost five months and I have not been allowed to go home.  He has all of my worldly possessions.  We have shared custody of the children but he has a stay away order of protection agains me.  He does not even have to face me - he knows what he did to me but he does not have to face it.  At least for a year.  Now I have to fight for my children.  He has a leg up on me.  It does not matter that he hit me over the years, mentally emotionally and FINANCIALLY abusded me.  It does not matter that I am having to go bankrupt, I lost my savings to lawyers and my home will be taken by the bank.  I am being punished by him and by the court system for wanting him to leave.  I am vioated over and over again.  Every time we go to court.  He drops my kids off at his parents and leaves them to care for them.  He does not buy them good food or clothes.  He does not take them to swimming lessons or care that they long for me.  He does not let them speak to me by phone when they are in his custody even though it is a court order.  No one cares, not the law guardian, the judge or the lawyers.  The laywers fuel his hatred to drag the process.  I have to pay for the custodial evaluator, $4000.00.  She will hopefully be my saving grace.   The law guardian is a poor excuse for a child advocate.  I have lived in a state of unbelievable confusion but I have recently come to accept that this is how it is.  I have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  I lost a lot of weight and a lot of hair!  I live in fear of him more than ever.  Always watching my back.  He still continues to stalk me.  He is trying to set me up again.  If I violate the Stay Away Order I could end up in jail.  He must love it.  I don't know how he sleeps in MY bed every night.  He is so sick.  How will I survive this?  Why is our court system so unjust.  With all that we know about these abusers how can the system let them continue to violate us?  I learned that no one cares about what happens to my children. Except me. 

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