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Why is it about prohibiting instead of about supporting and helping?
- Jan 24, 2009 at 2:26 PM
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- Comments (3) Total Views (113) Everyone can see this journal post.
I am confused about the tactics being used by anti-abortionists, anti-immigration-ists, English only supporters, and many others. From what I see, the focus is on outlawing the practices seemed so offensive, as if by saying no often enough, they will change people's minds. Another analogy this practice brings to mind is of a child throwing a royal temper tantrum in order to get their way.
Now, if we were to be actually working with a child, what would we do to handle the situation? I'm sure many of us have noticed that, in many cases, telling a young child no is ineffective. First off, the child doesn't care about your no. For them, the only thing that matters is what they can understand, which is an egocentric view of their wants and needs. Explaining your P.O.V. to the child won't do any good, because they can't understand our reasons, just as we can't truly understand what is going on in their minds.
This is true of some adult situations as well. You can call it immature or infantile, for people to think that way, but until you KNOW, in full, just what is going on in that person's life, you can't effect true change. If a woman finds herself pregnant, and is choosing abortion, how does shaming them help them? To me, I would think that a better way to handle it would be to find more positive resolutions. Wouldn't you be more likely to stop a person from having an abortion, if you gave that person options? Maybe the woman is afraid, or confused, or under pressure. These feelings can paralyze thought and reason. Fear invokes our fight or flight instincts, which will overwhelm the ability to use reasoned thinking. If a woman's natural instincts are to fight, she may choose to fight to make things work to keep the child, or she may fight the situation itself, and look for the first way to conquer the problem. A woman whose natural instinct is fear, their mind will be overwhelmed by the negative possibilities, and the first instinctual reaction is to remove themselves from what is causing that fear. So, when they are there at the abortion clinic, shaking and crying because they just can't think, just don't know what to do, being confronted by a picket line of angry, hateful people is not going to help lessen their fear. It is more likely to push them farther into panic, and their mind will be completely shut down. Overwhelmed by fear, you can't contemplate alternatives.
Instead of a picket line, why not have support counselors? Don't attack or recriminate. Have someone there who is willing to listen, and willing to be a shoulder to cry on. These women may be feeling totally alone, and desperate for someone to talk to. Let them cry it out, then give them options. Positive options. Don't flash pictures of aborted babies at them. Have instead a list of local families who are seeking to adopt. Let them know about government programs that will pay for the medical costs, and help them fill out the forms. Offer them safe havens where they can live unafraid of abuse and anger from their parents, or the child's father, or their pimps. Help them find jobs if they are unemployed, or work jobs that they will lose when the pregnancy is discovered, or they want out from a life of prostitution. Have a network of women who have chose to keep the baby, who can tell them their story of how they make it work, and what makes it worth it. Can you really say that wouldn't work better?
As for English Only, and anti-immigration, I again doubt that you can bring about real change if you don't understand the other person's situation. Walk a mile in their shoes, from the day the decided that living in their home country was intolerable, to the day you met them. Did they even HAVE access to the resources to learn English? Maybe they lived in a small, rural town. In America, we are blessed with stores, church and government programs, home computers with internet, or local libraries. Where many disadvantaged immigrants and illegal aliens come from, they don't even have plumbing or electricity. There nearest book store may be multiple days journey away, and the cost to get there, or purchase the books, or even take the time away from their work, is beyond what they can afford. It may be all those people can do to save a few pennies here and there to make the ultimate trip to America, and they may be gambling on just what kind of ride they are getting. They may never know if the friendly people who offered to take them over the border for a price are truly good people, or part of a group that will trick them, and sell them into a life of slavery. These people may not have access to any of the required documents to apply for a green card or citizenship, and are crossing their fingers in hopes that they can save enough money after they get to America before they are caught and deported. Then just think, they get to America, maybe even legally, and jump in to a menial job, happily, because even being a janitor or a factory worker, is earning them more money in a week than they ever earned in a year, before. Probably, these jobs are underpaid, and offer no insurance, but it is still a hundred times better than working as a farmer or factory worker in their old third world country.
So, they're here now, why don't they learn English? Well, maybe they are working two or three jobs, or just working 12+ hours a day, seven days a week, to get enough money set aside to bring their wife, husband, or child to America, or they are just trying to earn enough money to support the family they left behind. A weeks pay in America could help support quite an extended amount of family in countries where the cost of living is fractions of pennies to the American dollar. After a twelve or fourteen hour work day, even if I could get to an English as a second language class, I know I would be far too exhausted to absorb the lessons. Plus it is scientifically proven fact that the older you get, the harder it is to learn new things, especially language. Also, many Americans don't make it easy for immigrants to live here, so instead of facing daily ridicule and discrimination, they choose instead to stay among people who are also immigrants from their own country, and who understand their daily struggles. Often, even if they do learn at least a little bit of English, they are still treated poorly if they don't speak it fluently, or just because they are foreign.
Now, maybe that immigrant is busting their butt to learn English. This is still going to take time, and how are they going to get along until then? How are they going to apply for government programs to assist them in getting driver's liscences, green cards, or citizenship, if the government is prohibited from helping them in the only language they can understand?
Our country was founded by immigrants, many of whom did NOT speak English. Our country was a patchwork of Spaniards, Italians, British, French, and Africans. Some learned English, but many were so busy taking care of themselves and their families, that it wasn't until the second generation that more Americans spoke English. The children of immigrants had an easier time learning English, because they were still young enough to more easily learn the language. Their minds hadn't had decades of speaking in thinking in one language only, and thus could more easily add the new words for things into their memories. They also had more interaction with other children who spoke English, as most were raised to be grateful to be living in this country, and made friends who helped them learn. Like a child who makes friends with someone who is deaf. Through play and just spending time together, learning sign language becomes easy. They use it every time they play together, and new signs are taught as the situation arises. Now, how often does the parent of the non-deaf child learn sign language? I'm sure it happens sometimes, but I'm also sure that some parents just rely on their children to translate.
I see so much intolerance like this almost every day. It's not just these few topics I've written about. There are so many more. I turn on the news and see newscasters reporting on the outrage some feel about President Obama including atheists in his Inaugural Address, and not holding a bible when he re-took the Oath of Office. Here he is, trying to do what he can for ALL Americans, without thought to color, religion, pr party affiliation, and the emphasis is still on "How dare he include such-and-such or so-and-so?" He retakes the Oath of Office, because he knows that American will try to oust him for mistakes made by the Chief Justice who messed up in his delivery, DESPITE President Obama repeating the correct words, and giving the Justice the opportunity to correct the mistake. He took the oath first with a Bible, and even though that oath was not executed so flawlessly, it was still valid. The second oath was a gesture of good will, yet instead of being appreciative, so many have to jump on the first chance they get to point out what he did wrong.
It seems to be an American way of life now, to point out the wrongdoings of others. The media is full of stories about badly behaving celebrities, and sensational crimes. Cafe Mom is full of people who entertain themselves by ripping apart other mothers who offend them. Companies are full of employees who work to get ahead by bringing down their co-workers. Reality TV revels in scathing hosts, contestants making fools of themselves, and parents who suck at raising their children. We're so quick to point the blame at others, lord over our fellow humans our perceived superiority, and spread a fowl cloud of bitterness and hate across our land. Instead of finding a way to help those less fortunate, we complain about how their misfortune offends us. We don't bother to figure out why someone is struggling to find meaningful work, we berate them for not trying harder to go to college. No one wants to take responsibility for the decline is customer service, even though we are ALL to blame. The decline of customer service is not one sided, but an ever downwardly spiraling mess, as service professionals give poor service because those being served are critical and ungrateful for the service, and those being served are critical and ungrateful, because service is slacking.
When ARE we going to walk a mile in someone else's shoes? When is being a good person going to trump being a good Christian? When is being a good Christian going to mean more than going to church on Sunday? When are we going to start taking responsibility for making things better in our lives, worrying about our own happiness, instead of hating others and expecting them to fix things for us? Finally, when are we going to spread kindness and charity, instead of pamphlets with pictures of dead babies, and voting for laws to make others do what we want them to?
Now, if we were to be actually working with a child, what would we do to handle the situation? I'm sure many of us have noticed that, in many cases, telling a young child no is ineffective. First off, the child doesn't care about your no. For them, the only thing that matters is what they can understand, which is an egocentric view of their wants and needs. Explaining your P.O.V. to the child won't do any good, because they can't understand our reasons, just as we can't truly understand what is going on in their minds.
This is true of some adult situations as well. You can call it immature or infantile, for people to think that way, but until you KNOW, in full, just what is going on in that person's life, you can't effect true change. If a woman finds herself pregnant, and is choosing abortion, how does shaming them help them? To me, I would think that a better way to handle it would be to find more positive resolutions. Wouldn't you be more likely to stop a person from having an abortion, if you gave that person options? Maybe the woman is afraid, or confused, or under pressure. These feelings can paralyze thought and reason. Fear invokes our fight or flight instincts, which will overwhelm the ability to use reasoned thinking. If a woman's natural instincts are to fight, she may choose to fight to make things work to keep the child, or she may fight the situation itself, and look for the first way to conquer the problem. A woman whose natural instinct is fear, their mind will be overwhelmed by the negative possibilities, and the first instinctual reaction is to remove themselves from what is causing that fear. So, when they are there at the abortion clinic, shaking and crying because they just can't think, just don't know what to do, being confronted by a picket line of angry, hateful people is not going to help lessen their fear. It is more likely to push them farther into panic, and their mind will be completely shut down. Overwhelmed by fear, you can't contemplate alternatives.
Instead of a picket line, why not have support counselors? Don't attack or recriminate. Have someone there who is willing to listen, and willing to be a shoulder to cry on. These women may be feeling totally alone, and desperate for someone to talk to. Let them cry it out, then give them options. Positive options. Don't flash pictures of aborted babies at them. Have instead a list of local families who are seeking to adopt. Let them know about government programs that will pay for the medical costs, and help them fill out the forms. Offer them safe havens where they can live unafraid of abuse and anger from their parents, or the child's father, or their pimps. Help them find jobs if they are unemployed, or work jobs that they will lose when the pregnancy is discovered, or they want out from a life of prostitution. Have a network of women who have chose to keep the baby, who can tell them their story of how they make it work, and what makes it worth it. Can you really say that wouldn't work better?
As for English Only, and anti-immigration, I again doubt that you can bring about real change if you don't understand the other person's situation. Walk a mile in their shoes, from the day the decided that living in their home country was intolerable, to the day you met them. Did they even HAVE access to the resources to learn English? Maybe they lived in a small, rural town. In America, we are blessed with stores, church and government programs, home computers with internet, or local libraries. Where many disadvantaged immigrants and illegal aliens come from, they don't even have plumbing or electricity. There nearest book store may be multiple days journey away, and the cost to get there, or purchase the books, or even take the time away from their work, is beyond what they can afford. It may be all those people can do to save a few pennies here and there to make the ultimate trip to America, and they may be gambling on just what kind of ride they are getting. They may never know if the friendly people who offered to take them over the border for a price are truly good people, or part of a group that will trick them, and sell them into a life of slavery. These people may not have access to any of the required documents to apply for a green card or citizenship, and are crossing their fingers in hopes that they can save enough money after they get to America before they are caught and deported. Then just think, they get to America, maybe even legally, and jump in to a menial job, happily, because even being a janitor or a factory worker, is earning them more money in a week than they ever earned in a year, before. Probably, these jobs are underpaid, and offer no insurance, but it is still a hundred times better than working as a farmer or factory worker in their old third world country.
So, they're here now, why don't they learn English? Well, maybe they are working two or three jobs, or just working 12+ hours a day, seven days a week, to get enough money set aside to bring their wife, husband, or child to America, or they are just trying to earn enough money to support the family they left behind. A weeks pay in America could help support quite an extended amount of family in countries where the cost of living is fractions of pennies to the American dollar. After a twelve or fourteen hour work day, even if I could get to an English as a second language class, I know I would be far too exhausted to absorb the lessons. Plus it is scientifically proven fact that the older you get, the harder it is to learn new things, especially language. Also, many Americans don't make it easy for immigrants to live here, so instead of facing daily ridicule and discrimination, they choose instead to stay among people who are also immigrants from their own country, and who understand their daily struggles. Often, even if they do learn at least a little bit of English, they are still treated poorly if they don't speak it fluently, or just because they are foreign.
Now, maybe that immigrant is busting their butt to learn English. This is still going to take time, and how are they going to get along until then? How are they going to apply for government programs to assist them in getting driver's liscences, green cards, or citizenship, if the government is prohibited from helping them in the only language they can understand?
Our country was founded by immigrants, many of whom did NOT speak English. Our country was a patchwork of Spaniards, Italians, British, French, and Africans. Some learned English, but many were so busy taking care of themselves and their families, that it wasn't until the second generation that more Americans spoke English. The children of immigrants had an easier time learning English, because they were still young enough to more easily learn the language. Their minds hadn't had decades of speaking in thinking in one language only, and thus could more easily add the new words for things into their memories. They also had more interaction with other children who spoke English, as most were raised to be grateful to be living in this country, and made friends who helped them learn. Like a child who makes friends with someone who is deaf. Through play and just spending time together, learning sign language becomes easy. They use it every time they play together, and new signs are taught as the situation arises. Now, how often does the parent of the non-deaf child learn sign language? I'm sure it happens sometimes, but I'm also sure that some parents just rely on their children to translate.
I see so much intolerance like this almost every day. It's not just these few topics I've written about. There are so many more. I turn on the news and see newscasters reporting on the outrage some feel about President Obama including atheists in his Inaugural Address, and not holding a bible when he re-took the Oath of Office. Here he is, trying to do what he can for ALL Americans, without thought to color, religion, pr party affiliation, and the emphasis is still on "How dare he include such-and-such or so-and-so?" He retakes the Oath of Office, because he knows that American will try to oust him for mistakes made by the Chief Justice who messed up in his delivery, DESPITE President Obama repeating the correct words, and giving the Justice the opportunity to correct the mistake. He took the oath first with a Bible, and even though that oath was not executed so flawlessly, it was still valid. The second oath was a gesture of good will, yet instead of being appreciative, so many have to jump on the first chance they get to point out what he did wrong.
It seems to be an American way of life now, to point out the wrongdoings of others. The media is full of stories about badly behaving celebrities, and sensational crimes. Cafe Mom is full of people who entertain themselves by ripping apart other mothers who offend them. Companies are full of employees who work to get ahead by bringing down their co-workers. Reality TV revels in scathing hosts, contestants making fools of themselves, and parents who suck at raising their children. We're so quick to point the blame at others, lord over our fellow humans our perceived superiority, and spread a fowl cloud of bitterness and hate across our land. Instead of finding a way to help those less fortunate, we complain about how their misfortune offends us. We don't bother to figure out why someone is struggling to find meaningful work, we berate them for not trying harder to go to college. No one wants to take responsibility for the decline is customer service, even though we are ALL to blame. The decline of customer service is not one sided, but an ever downwardly spiraling mess, as service professionals give poor service because those being served are critical and ungrateful for the service, and those being served are critical and ungrateful, because service is slacking.
When ARE we going to walk a mile in someone else's shoes? When is being a good person going to trump being a good Christian? When is being a good Christian going to mean more than going to church on Sunday? When are we going to start taking responsibility for making things better in our lives, worrying about our own happiness, instead of hating others and expecting them to fix things for us? Finally, when are we going to spread kindness and charity, instead of pamphlets with pictures of dead babies, and voting for laws to make others do what we want them to?
Comments:
1-3 of 3 comments
1
Jan. 24, 2009 at 9:18 PM
I am very pro life I am a crisis pregnnacy counclor I have brought food, gave rides, to doctors appointments, I have stayed late, we have given clothes, diapers, formula, love, compassion, and a shoulder to the thousands of women that have come to our door at the crisis pregnancy center that we voluteer at. I know women that have opened there homes, there hearts, and there wallets to help women. I am sadden that we as pro lifers are alway questioned. what do the pro choicers do , except yell choice and its her body. What if they helped her take the crisis out of her pregnancy instead of sitting back and yelling her bosy her choice and washing there hands with her. I care I love and I do, I live by God's will and my actions speak on why I think abortions are wrong they hurt women and they kill innocent babies. God Bless
Jan. 27, 2009 at 4:19 PM
The U.S. does not have an official language, and never has. English is our national language, but it is not "official." I could not agree more with your points about some of those who oppose abortion. I am personally pro-choice, however, I certainly respect the actions of those who actually work to reduce abortion by providing medical care, food, shelter, job training, and all the other things a young mother would need to provide for a child. It is certainly within the right-to-lifer's rights as citizens to protest something they disagree with, but I don't think that shouting at women as they enter a clinic or attempting to shame someone is as effective as doing something to help.
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