Am I too old fashioned?

[NorahSethsMommy]

My mother taught me that when someone does something nice for you or gives you a gift you thank them. I write thank you notes for all the gifts my kids get, I write them for any gifts I get...I am instilling in my kids how important this is.

Well, last Tuesday I went to this Bridal Shower for my niece, Sarah (daugther of Doug's oldest sister). It is one of three showers she is having...this one was given by her mothers friend and was for mostly the mom's friends and a few cousins, etc, the next one is given by her aunts (me, and two SIL's) and the third one is couple's shower given by a friend...same as Doug and I had when we got married.

Her wedding is going to be a morning wedding on May 30. It's a semi-formal affair with a brunch and various guests, but not an extremely big wedding. My wedding had about 150 people at it.

I found time to sit (within one month of the showers and then the wedding) and write out personal thank you notes to each and every person, noting what they got me and how much I liked it etc. This is what I thought was proper and would not have even thought to do it any other way.

After opening the gifts at this shower on Tuesday, the hostess (the mom of the brides close friend) stands up and says, "If this offends anyone, I am sorry, but since Sarah has just thanked each of you here tonight for your gifts as she was opening them, I would like to propose the we do not expect thank you notes from her. She has enough to do with school and planning a wedding."

(she's in college...BTW, when I got married I was working full time, living on my own, supporting myself and planning the wedding without the help of a mother or anything...other than MIL)

I personally was kind of in shock and some of the older women there seemed a bit surprised too, but what are you going to do? Stand up and yell, "Hell yes I am offended...I DEMAND a thank you note!?" LOL.

Everyone kind of nodded or muttered okays and then Sarah said, "Thank you all so much. That really helps me out a lot to not have to write all those notes."

As a mom, I would never allow my daughter to accept this either.

If this were a birthday party or something, I could maybe see this, but this is a wedding! IMO in an event like a wedding, a gift should always be followed up with a thank you note without question.

Am I too old fashioned or something?

I hope the other aunts hosting the next shower with me, aren't planning on doing this.

[Mylovngheart]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 5:07 PM

Maybe we are old fashiond, but I tend to agree with you.  It's just a little thing, but shows class and makes the giver feel the gift was truly appreciated.

Some people just don't get it...

[sarahlove]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 6:45 PM

I would have wanted a thank you card it is nice to receive one your right.

[angellady535]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 7:04 PM

YOUE MOTHER IS A GOOD WOMAN .AND HER VICE TO YOU IS SOMETHING THAT SHINES OUT IN A BIG WAY .

[bjacob1035]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 8:59 PM

You are 100% right!

[NorahSethsMommy]

Jan. 24, 2009 at 9:46 PM

Thanks...I am glad I am not the only one who thought this was crazy.

(Original Poster)

[momof3inTN]

Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:20 PM

I have to agree, I would have liked a thank you card. I remember writing out SO many cards after our wedding, baby shower, birthday's... I'm surprised I have a hand left from all the thank you's I have written. I even have the kids write thank you card to those who give them birthday presents now (speaking of, I need to get some cards as Liam's birthday is on Saturday, LOL).